{"id":22475,"date":"2022-10-21T10:08:06","date_gmt":"2022-10-21T02:08:06","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/blog.mindvalley.com\/?p=22475"},"modified":"2025-05-22T12:34:21","modified_gmt":"2025-05-22T11:34:21","slug":"parenting-skills","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.mindvalley.com\/blog\/parenting-skills\/","title":{"rendered":"7 parenting skills you need to raise conscious children"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Parenthood is an immersive journey. No amount of books or courses can ever fully prepare you for the parenting skills you\u2019ll require throughout this experience.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">As your child grows up, chances are, you\u2019ll have to adjust or learn new parenting skills. That can be overwhelming, and there\u2019s no manual to show you how to be a good parent.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">The good news is, there are good parenting skills that can help build a foundational connection between you and your little human. And when you\u2019re able to give your child the support and guidance they need to thrive, you\u2019re contributing to creating a more compassionate and conscious participant of the next generation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-what-are-parenting-skills\">What are parenting skills?<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">You, as the parent, <a href=\"https:\/\/blog.mindvalley.com\/family-roles\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">play a pivotal role<\/a> in your child\u2019s life. And your parenting skills \u2014 the ability to do something well using your knowledge and competencies \u2014 can impact the kind of person they turn out to be.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">For some, these skills are innate; for others, they need to be developed. Regardless of which one is for you, it\u2019s important to remember that <em>no one<\/em> is highly skilled at everything. It\u2019s like that old saying, \u201c<em>you can\u2019t be good at everything<\/em>,\u201d which is true when you come to think of it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-list-of-parenting-skills\">List of parenting skills<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Parents, in general, want to raise happy and healthy children. And honing in on your set of skills enables you to do so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Here\u2019s a list of <a href=\"https:\/\/www.cdc.gov\/child-development\/positive-parenting-tips\/index.html\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener nofollow\">parenting skills<\/a> by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC):<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li><strong>Communicating effectively. <\/strong>Your child isn\u2019t equipped to know how to effectively express their feelings or share thoughts. Knowing how to communicate with them will help make it easier for you to build a strong connection with them.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li><strong>Creating structure and rules.<\/strong> This doesn\u2019t mean sucking the fun out of your child\u2019s life. Rather, it\u2019s about creating consistent routines and rules to help them maintain order and structure in their everyday lives.&nbsp;<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li><strong>Giving directions.<\/strong> Providing clear directions for your child can help you have positive interactions with them.&nbsp;<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li><strong>Using discipline and consequences.<\/strong> How you act or react to your child\u2019s good or bad behavior makes a difference. Learning how to use these practices safely and consciously can help you have more good days with them.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">These listed skills may be broad, but they can help lay the groundwork to connect with your child better.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-why-are-parenting-skills-important\">Why are parenting skills important?<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">It\u2019s not an overstatement to say that parents are the predictors of humanity\u2019s future. Countless researchers have studied the importance of parenting and found that a parent&#8217;s influence on their child is profound.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Parenting is the single largest variable implicated in:&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li>Childhood illnesses and accidents<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Teenage pregnancy and substance misuse<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Truancy, school disruption, and underachievement<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Child abuse<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Unemployability<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Juvenile crime<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Mental illness<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">How a parent raises a child directly influences their overall well-being. In fact, a <a href=\"https:\/\/www.tandfonline.com\/doi\/abs\/10.3200\/GNTP.169.3.09-226?src=recsys\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">2010 study<\/a> published in the <em>Journal of Genetic Psychology<\/em> suggests the parenting style that results in the least behavioral problems in children is the authoritative parenting style.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">The quality of the parent-child relationship plays an important role too. According to this <a href=\"https:\/\/onlinelibrary.wiley.com\/doi\/abs\/10.1111\/j.1532-7795.2008.00556.x\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">2008 study<\/a> published in the <em>Journal of Research of Adolescence<\/em>, the more positive the parent-child relationship is, the better the adolescent\u2019s psychological well-being and the lower the delinquency rate.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Parents don\u2019t just raise their offspring. They are, literally, shaping the future. And how that future develops depends on their parenting skills.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-what-are-the-4-types-of-parenting-styles\">What are the 4 types of parenting styles?<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Psychologist Diana Baumrind suggested that there were four distinct parenting styles, also called the <a href=\"https:\/\/blog.mindvalley.com\/baumrind-parenting-styles\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">Baumrind parenting styles<\/a>:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ol class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li><strong>Authoritative parenting.<\/strong> Parents of this style are highly responsive but also have high expectations. They have strict rules but are warm and loving.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/blog.mindvalley.com\/authoritarian-vs-authoritative\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\"><strong>Authoritarian parenting<\/strong><\/a><strong>. <\/strong>On the opposite side of the spectrum, authoritarian parents are less responsive but still maintain high expectations. They demand obedience and don\u2019t allow their children to make many decisions.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/blog.mindvalley.com\/permissive-parenting\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\"><strong>Permissive parenting<\/strong><\/a><strong>. <\/strong>Those who follow this style are highly responsive but don\u2019t demand much from their children. They don\u2019t set a lot of rules but are incredibly supportive of their children\u2019s needs.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/blog.mindvalley.com\/neglectful-parenting\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\"><strong>Neglectful parenting<\/strong><\/a><strong>. <\/strong>Uninvolved parents are not responsive to their children\u2019s needs and do not set firm guidelines. They believe in a hands-off attitude and take a backseat approach to their children\u2019s development.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">In today\u2019s generation, these styles aren\u2019t exactly effective. \u201c<em>Traditional parenting is about fixing the kid, producing the kid, creating this masterpiece,<\/em>\u201d says clinical psychologist Dr. Shefali Tsabary. \u201c<em>Really, it\u2019s a control-based paradigm.<\/em>\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">We no longer live in a world where scare tactics are the norm; rather, it\u2019s all about \u201c<em>connection before correction<\/em>\u201d so that we can nurture our children\u2019s innate wisdom for them to thrive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-what-are-qualities-of-a-good-parent\">What are qualities of a good parent?<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Whether someone is a good parent or not is subjective. Everyone has their own ideas of what makes a good parent. And this is precisely why there\u2019s so much contradictory parenting advice.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">The best way to cut through all the noise and stay true to yourself is:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li>Write down the qualities that you want to embody.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Look for role models who demonstrate those qualities.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Emulate your role models.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Here\u2019s a list of role models who have raised successful children and the parenting qualities they demonstrate.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-table is-style-stripes\"><table class=\"has-fixed-layout\"><tbody><tr><td><strong>Name<\/strong><\/td><td><strong>Family Dynamics<\/strong><\/td><td><strong>Qualities<\/strong><\/td><\/tr><tr><td><a href=\"https:\/\/www.businessinsider.com\/bill-gates-tips-successful-parenting-love-and-logic-2018-4\/?r=US&amp;IR=T\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">Bill Gates<\/a><\/td><td>A two-parent family with three children<\/td><td>He uses the \u201cLove and Logic\u201d model that minimizes <a href=\"https:\/\/blog.mindvalley.com\/emotional-reactivity\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">emotional reactivity<\/a> and encourages parents to give kids more problems to solve and chances to fail.<\/td><\/tr><tr><td><a href=\"https:\/\/www.huffpost.com\/entry\/will-smith-parenting-quotes_l_5d8a5595e4b0532fa1383ee2\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">Will Smith<\/a><\/td><td>A two-parent family with three children<\/td><td>He gives freedom to the kids to be who they are, instills self-responsibility, supports what his kids love, and respects his children.&nbsp;<\/td><\/tr><tr><td><a href=\"https:\/\/www.cnbc.com\/2019\/11\/19\/richard-branson-compares-being-a-parent-to-starting-a-business.html\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">Richard Branson<\/a><\/td><td>A two-parent family with two children<\/td><td>He believes that raising children is like building a business. Start before you\u2019re ready, take a step back, and watch your children grow.&nbsp;<\/td><\/tr><tr><td><a href=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=v8Dsj15dmN8\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">Jon &amp; Missy Butcher<\/a><\/td><td>A two-parent family with four children<\/td><td>They believe in three-dimensional learning and providing children worldly experiences beyond school walls. <\/td><\/tr><tr><td><a href=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=Y-OqMHxspaE\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">Dr. Shefali Tsabary<\/a><\/td><td>A two-parent family with one child<\/td><td>She believes parents need to grow themselves first, recognizes their child as a human with their own rights, and doesn\u2019t emphasize grades.&nbsp;<\/td><\/tr><\/tbody><\/table><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Your child, as they grow, is still learning and developing. So as long as they\u2019re under your care, it\u2019s important that they have a good role model with positive parenting skills to guide them through life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image aligncenter size-full\"><img fetchpriority=\"high\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"1456\" height=\"816\" src=\"https:\/\/storage.googleapis.com\/mv-prod-blog-en-assets\/2022\/10\/ef559eeb-parenting-skills-mindvalley-blog-02-midjourney-seo-team.webp\" alt=\"A mother using her parenting skills with her child\" class=\"wp-image-68461\" srcset=\"https:\/\/storage.googleapis.com\/mv-prod-blog-en-assets\/2022\/10\/ef559eeb-parenting-skills-mindvalley-blog-02-midjourney-seo-team.webp 1456w, https:\/\/storage.googleapis.com\/mv-prod-blog-en-assets\/2022\/10\/ef559eeb-parenting-skills-mindvalley-blog-02-midjourney-seo-team-768x430.webp 768w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 1456px) 100vw, 1456px\" \/><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-7-parenting-skills-to-raise-conscious-children\">7 parenting skills to raise conscious children<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><strong>Dr. Shefali Tsabary<\/strong>, who\u2019s also the trainer of Mindvalley\u2019s <em>Conscious Parenting Mastery<\/em> Quest, has an arsenal of unconventional parenting skills under her belt. And we\u2019ve distilled her most powerful ones into seven skills of how to be a good parent.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-1-treat-your-children-as-individual-beings\">1. Treat your children as individual beings<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Your children are born with their own destinies. It\u2019s not about shaping them in your image. Or forcing them to follow your habits. It\u2019s about guiding them to come into their in the best you can.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">This means you must learn to accept your children for who they are \u2014 stripped from medals, achievements, grades, mistakes, and failures. Praise them for who they are, not for what they\u2019ve done.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><a href=\"https:\/\/rm.coe.int\/168046d340\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">The Council of Europe<\/a> agrees with Dr. Tsabary on this, too: the cornerstone of positive parenting refers to, in their words, parental behavior that respects children\u2019s best interests and their rights.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-2-recognize-your-child-as-your-teacher\">2. Recognize your child as your teacher<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">When you see your child as a teacher, your ego dissolves. You\u2019re not here to impose your wishes and unmet needs onto them. Instead, you\u2019re here to learn from them.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Get this: children are always showing something to you. Every moment is an <a href=\"https:\/\/blog.mindvalley.com\/growth-mindset-for-students\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">opportunity to grow<\/a> \u2014 to learn about yourself and your child. One way to put this into practice is to pause the second you find yourself on the verge of exploding. Ask yourself, what can I learn from them and this situation?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Today, children are learning social and emotional intelligence subjects at school and are helping their parents to be better at managing their emotions.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">But if parents can\u2019t put their egos aside and learn from their children, they miss out on opportunities to connect deeply with them.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-3-let-go-of-the-happiness-and-success-obsession\">3. Let go of the happiness and success obsession<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">It is the obsession with happiness and success that creates unhappiness. Why? Because children continuously ride the waves of their emotions \u2014 pain, frustration, disappointment, sadness, happiness, surprise, anticipation, and more.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">But when parents expect their children to do nothing but succeed, what\u2019s being communicated is that you\u2019re not allowed to feel sad; you need to be happy. This pressure of \u201c<em>I must be happy and successful<\/em>\u201d comes from a parent\u2019s fears and leads children to live in the future without the freedom to experience the present.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">And <a href=\"https:\/\/qz.com\/1021749\/a-leading-happiness-researcher-says-were-giving-our-kids-bad-advice-about-how-to-succeed-in-life\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">researchers agree.<\/a> A mind too focused on the future is prone to anxiety and fear. What makes children truly happy is <em>to be present in the now<\/em>.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">So, what do you do when your child feels sad, angry, disappointed, or frustrated? Honor where they\u2019re at.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Acknowledge that it\u2019s their right to feel what they feel. Help them find words to describe what they\u2019re feeling. Support them as they ride the emotional waves. Detach yourself from their emotions.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Most importantly, be committed to being fully present in the now with them.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-4-don-t-react-fill-these-needs-instead\">4. Don\u2019t react \u2014 fill these needs instead<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Besides triggering their parents\u2019 fears, children\u2019s behaviors also mask one of these three fundamental needs:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li>Am I seen and accepted for who I am?<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Am I worthy of your attention and praise for who I am?<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Do I matter in your life?&nbsp;<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">You can begin to form deeper connections with your child when you shift your responses to meet these needs.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">So, when was the last time you felt truly connected with your child? These moments of deep and profound connection signal that one or more of these three needs are being fulfilled.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Harvard&#8217;s Center on the Developing Child published <a href=\"https:\/\/developingchild.harvard.edu\/resources\/8-things-remember-child-development\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">a child development guide<\/a> that suggests \u201c<em>resilience requires relationships, not rugged individualism.<\/em>\u201d The essential building blocks for strengthening the capacity to do well in the face of significant adversity are due to two things:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li>The reliable presence of at least one supportive relationship and&nbsp;<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Multiple opportunities for developing effective coping skills.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">By meeting these fundamental needs, parents form trusted relationships with their children. Moreover, the relationship becomes an unshakeable foundation for the child to take risks and face life obstacles.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-5-learn-to-relinquish-control\">5. Learn to relinquish control<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">One controversial paradigm of parenting is <em>discipline<\/em>. When our children do something out of line, then we do what we feel is necessary to fix and correct their behavior.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">\u201c<em>The problem is not in the intention per se,<\/em>\u201d says Dr. Shefali. \u201c<em>The problem is in the execution.<\/em>\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">The traditional parenting paradigm suggests that children will learn through the infliction of pain, be it emotionally, mentally, or physically. However, Dr. Shefali explains that this method isn\u2019t a teaching strategy but an adult temper tantrum.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">So it\u2019s imperative, as the parent, for you to <a href=\"https:\/\/blog.mindvalley.com\/mindful-parenting\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">be mindful<\/a> of your speech and thoughts. Notice how you engage with your child.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">And as you become more aware of your \u201ctemper tantrums,\u201d you can begin to shift them into a more conscious way of parenting.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-6-place-conscious-boundaries\">6. Place conscious boundaries<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Boundaries are typically associated with <em>giving<\/em> other people limits, like \u201c<em>you can\u2019t watch TV on a school night<\/em>\u201d or \u201c<em>don\u2019t disturb me while I\u2019m cooking dinner.<\/em>\u201d However, to create a stronger, deeper connection between you and your child, it\u2019s really important to understand your own internal boundaries.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">It\u2019s about letting others know what your needs, values, and personality are. It\u2019s a place where you end and your child starts, and how you both can move towards the same goal as a family.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">For example, if you value bonding time with your child, set a certain hour in the day for that. Ensure that you do it consistently so that they know this is the special time you two get to focus on each other without distractions.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">As Dr. Shefali explains, when it comes to conscious boundaries, \u201c<em>the focus is less on blaming the kids and it is more on us taking responsibility for the energy with which we set up the conditions.<\/em>\u201d&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-7-create-win-win-situations\">7. Create win-win situations<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Negotiation is a powerful skill that children should learn. Because life isn\u2019t unilateral, they will inevitably have to go out into the world and negotiate. So they might as well learn how to at home.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Dr. Shefali suggests entering conflicts with a different mindset \u2014 not enforcing control, but creating negotiation. She adds, \u201c<em>Now, you\u2019re moving away from battles and you\u2019re entering true cooperation.<\/em>\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">The great thing about negotiations is that it\u2019s the path of least resistance. It allows both of you to feel like you\u2019re co-owners of the process, ultimately giving you and them a sense of claim over your lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-how-to-improve-parenting-skills-according-to-conscious-parenting-expert-dr-shefali-tsabary\">How to improve parenting skills, according to conscious parenting expert Dr. Shefali Tsabary<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">If you learn one thing from Dr. Shefali, it&#8217;s this: conscious parenting is less about your child and more about your <em>inner<\/em> child. And to better connect with your young one, it&#8217;s always advisable to first connect with your authentic self.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Here are five tips from Dr. Shefali that can help you feel more fulfilled as a parent.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-1-disrupt-the-generational-patterns\">1. Disrupt the generational patterns<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">The first step of learning something new is to unlearn what you already know. And in this case, it\u2019s to discard inherited beliefs and habits of your parents, who learned it from their parents, who learned it from theirs, and so on and so forth.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">It\u2019s time to disrupt it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">When you can understand how your past influences your present, you\u2019ll be able to make the necessary changes in how you interact with your child.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><strong>Dr. Shefali Tsabary\u2019s tip: <\/strong>\u201c<em>We must excavate the past. Because it is only when we understand the past patterns from our own childhood that we can fully see how these past patterns are influencing our current ways of being.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-2-be-aware-of-your-projections\">2. Be aware of your projections<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">One of the biggest obstacles you may face while connecting with your child (or anyone for that matter) is the reflexive, emotional habit called projections. Simply put, it\u2019s when you put how you think and feel onto your offspring.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Here\u2019s the thing: children are like sponges. So when you project your beliefs and habits, your child will incorporate them as if they were their own. And chances are, they\u2019ll fail to curate their own way of doing, feeling, and thinking.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><strong>Dr. Shefali Tsabary\u2019s tip: <\/strong>\u201c<em>We have to train ourselves to enter a space of observation and witness without outward action. We need to begin to listen to our own self before the stuff comes out of us.<\/em>\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-3-let-go-of-your-fear-based-paradigms\">3. Let go of your fear-based paradigms<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">A lot of beliefs that have been adopted from culture are based on fear. And they usually take the form of \u201c<em>you should do this<\/em>\u201d and \u201c<em>you should do that.<\/em>\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Parents want their children to be so many things at once because they\u2019re terrified of the \u201cwhat ifs.\u201d For example:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li>\u201c<em>What if my child can\u2019t keep up in class?<\/em>\u201d<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>\u201c<em>What if my child fails his SAT?<\/em>\u201d<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Or \u201c<em>what if my child has to repeat a year?<\/em>\u201d<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">According to Dr. Shefali, fear creates control, and that, in turn, obstructs connection. And quite possibly, it could lead to your child experiencing emotional turmoil.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><strong>Dr. Shefali Tsabary\u2019s tip: <\/strong>\u201c<em>It\u2019s all about awareness. \u2026 It\u2019s this awareness that\u2019ll give us the power of choice \u2013 of now, in this moment, mindfully discerning what we need, what we are expecting, what we are fantasizing versus what our children are expressing as their authentic truth.<\/em>\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-4-turn-fear-into-courage\">4. Turn fear into courage<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Culture teaches us to preempt life. It encourages us to focus on the \u201cwhat ifs,\u201d and when we do, we miss out on the \u201cwhat is.\u201d&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Remember: your child is a sponge. So this fear-based parenting can shape your child to be fearful as well. That fear, according to Dr. Shefali, brings out the anxiety.&nbsp;&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">However, living in the present, and accepting the flow of the as-is, gives rise to courage.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><strong>Dr. Shefali Tsabary\u2019s tip: <\/strong>\u201c<em>When we have the courage to see our fears as they are, we will realize how most of these fears are constructed in our minds.<\/em>\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-5-the-pitfalls-of-being-a-loving-parent\">5. The pitfalls of being a \u201cloving parent\u201d<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Love is, undoubtedly, an element that bonds people together. One of the biggest myths about parenting, though, is that a good parent is a loving one.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">While we may believe we unconditionally love our children, the harsh reality is that we only provide love when it fulfills our agendas for them.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">For example, we come from a place of love when our children follow societal\u2019s idea of perfect children, like getting good grades, getting into an Ivy League school, marrying into an established family, etc. However, when they misbehave or don\u2019t remember to do something we\u2019ve asked them to, then our \u201clove\u201d is displayed as anger, or what Dr. Shefali calls a \u201c<em>tainted with a heavily ego-based, fear-driven attachment.<\/em>\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><strong>Dr. Shefali Tsabary\u2019s tip: <\/strong>\u201c<em>Can you love yourself as so worthy that you don\u2019t need your children to give you worth? When you make that shift, when that needle moves within you, from your own lack to your own wholeness, it is then that you release your children out of an attachment-based relationship to a truly transcendent relationship.<\/em>\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-awaken-your-parental-greatness\">Awaken your parental greatness<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Guiding a little human through life is a sacred act. And raising kind, compassionate, loving individuals requires you to shift from the paradigm of traditional parenting to one of consciousness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">This is where Mindvalley\u2019s <strong><em>Conscious Parenting Mastery<\/em><\/strong> Quest can help. And you can <a href=\"https:\/\/www.mindvalley.com\/signup\/?utm_source=blog_end_of_post_cta&amp;utm_campaign=evergreen_freemium&amp;utm_medium=end_of_article&amp;otag=mv_blog_freemium\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\"><strong>register for a Mindvalley account<\/strong><\/a> for free and check out sample classes from the quest.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">With Dr. Shefali Tsabary guiding you, you\u2019ll learn how to first focus inwards and harness your own self-evolution so you can show up at every stage of your child\u2019s growth with compassion and empathy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">It\u2019s as she says, \u201c<em>The quest for wholeness can never begin on the external level. It is always an inside job.<\/em>\u201d And when you make a change within yourself, you create an impact on your child.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Parenthood has its rewards, but it can be onerous at times. Here are five parenting skills to help ease the challenges and establish a loving, nurturing home.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":9,"featured_media":68460,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"om_disable_all_campaigns":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[10],"tags":[2034],"series":[],"area-of-growth":[3422],"outcome":[3510,3508],"featured":[3793,3810],"coauthors":[329],"class_list":["post-22475","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-relationships","tag-conscious-parenting-mastery","area-of-growth-parenting","outcome-parenting-styles","outcome-raising-kids","featured-ap2","featured-op4"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO Premium plugin v27.6 (Yoast SEO v27.6) - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-premium-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>7 Parenting Skills You Need to Raise Conscious Children<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Parenthood has its rewards, but it can be onerous at times. 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