{"id":22845,"date":"2025-12-01T21:01:37","date_gmt":"2025-12-01T21:01:37","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/blog.mindvalley.com\/?p=22845"},"modified":"2025-12-16T16:58:45","modified_gmt":"2025-12-16T16:58:45","slug":"circle-of-influence","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.mindvalley.com\/blog\/circle-of-influence\/","title":{"rendered":"The circle of influence is the secret skill behind calm, confident people\u2014here’s how to use it"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

If you have ever watched Ted Lasso<\/em>, you\u2019d likely remember that Ted wins people over without trying to impress anyone. It\u2019s his circle of influence<\/strong> that eventually wins the entire AFC Richmond team over. You know, that steady kindness, gentle cheekiness, and infamous optimism.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The whole thing works because he shows up the same way every day. But the real question is how your presence, like Ted\u2019s, shifts the people around you when you stay true to who you are.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

What is the circle of influence?<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

The circle of influence is the part of your life where what you do makes a real difference. It, according to licensed therapist Jenna Nielsen, LCSW<\/strong>, consists of \u201cthe things that are in your control, such as your behaviors, how you communicate, your habits, your career choices, and your skills<\/em>.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For instance, with Ted, you see it where he brings homemade biscuits to Rebecca every morning. He does it with no agenda, and this consistency softens her guard little by little.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Stephen Covey first introduced this idea in The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People<\/em><\/a>. He describes two circles that guide how you use your energy\u2014the outer circle (the circle of concern) holds the things you care about but cannot direct, and the inner circle (circle of influence) holds the areas you can shape through your choices.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you look at Covey\u2019s circle of influence diagram, you can see your influence grows when you place steady attention on this inner circle. He writes:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cProactive people focus their efforts in the Circle of Influence. They work on the things they can do something about. The nature of their energy is positive, enlarging and magnifying, causing their Circle of Influence to increase.<\/em>\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That has Ted written all over it. But the opposite of that would be reactive people, like Jamie Tartt in Season 1. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

They place most of their attention on the circle of concern and tend to dwell on other people\u2019s flaws, difficult circumstances, and situations they cannot direct. This focus creates blame, helplessness, and intense emotional reactivity<\/a> that drains their energy and slowly reduces the areas where they could have real influence.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That\u2019s why the circle of influence matters more than people think. It has a way of setting the tone for how you move through your life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"Circle<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Why does it matter?<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

\u201cIt is important for people to understand their circle of influence because it can <\/em>reduce their anxiety, depression, and trauma symptoms<\/em><\/a> and increase their overall life satisfaction<\/em>,\u201d Jenna explains.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That\u2019s what happens when you focus on what you can actually do. Not only that, but when you\u2019re able to notice how you speak to people, how you solve problems, and how you take care of yourself, you\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n