{"id":55103,"date":"2022-08-09T07:18:00","date_gmt":"2022-08-08T23:18:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/blog.mindvalley.com\/?p=55103"},"modified":"2025-10-07T17:12:32","modified_gmt":"2025-10-07T16:12:32","slug":"happiness-myths","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.mindvalley.com\/blog\/happiness-myths\/","title":{"rendered":"What happiness is NOT\u20145 myths debunked by Kristina M\u00e4nd-Lakhiani"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Like an elusive butterfly, happiness often escapes our grasp. But could that be because we don\u2019t actually know what it is? Have you ever thought about what some happiness myths are?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">You can\u2019t deny it. You seek it as much as the next person. Like hungry animals, we roam the Earth in search of it. For hours, for days, for decades, we dream of it. And we do so because we believe that if we fail to find it, our lives will never truly be worth living.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">The philosophers of old claimed that we miss out on happiness because we search for it. But  <strong>Kristina M\u00e4nd-Lakhiani<\/strong>, happiness advocate and co-founder of Mindvalley, has another opinion.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">What if the reason we miss out and feel sad isn\u2019t that we were looking for it but because most of us don\u2019t actually know what happiness is (or what it isn\u2019t)?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\" id=\"heading1\">Grab a notepad and explore <strong>what happiness is <em>not<\/em><\/strong>, so you can come up with your own definition, dismantling the myths once and for all.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-1-happiness-is-not-an-emotion\">1. Happiness is NOT an emotion<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">If you bought into the idea that it is an emotion, you\u2019re in for a very rough ride. That\u2019s one of the most reiterated happiness myths out there.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">By their nature, emotions are ever-changing. Like waves of the ocean or cloud formations in the sky, emotions are transient phenomena.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Therefore, it goes without saying that <strong>you can\u2019t live a happy life if you equate being happy to the emotion of joy or elation<\/strong>; your happiness will inevitably fluctuate depending on your circumstances.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\" id=\"heading2\">Rather, Kristina recommends seeing it as a state of mind or a way of living.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image aligncenter size-full\"><img fetchpriority=\"high\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"1200\" height=\"800\" src=\"https:\/\/storage.googleapis.com\/mv-prod-blog-en-assets\/2021\/09\/happiness-myths-A-Fest-Jordan-KHA_9057-Karen-Harms.jpg\" alt=\"Kristina Mand Lakhiani at A fest with Marisha Lakhiani\" class=\"wp-image-64493\" srcset=\"https:\/\/storage.googleapis.com\/mv-prod-blog-en-assets\/2021\/09\/happiness-myths-A-Fest-Jordan-KHA_9057-Karen-Harms.jpg 1200w, https:\/\/storage.googleapis.com\/mv-prod-blog-en-assets\/2021\/09\/happiness-myths-A-Fest-Jordan-KHA_9057-Karen-Harms-768x512.jpg 768w, https:\/\/storage.googleapis.com\/mv-prod-blog-en-assets\/2021\/09\/happiness-myths-A-Fest-Jordan-KHA_9057-Karen-Harms-736x491.jpg 736w, https:\/\/storage.googleapis.com\/mv-prod-blog-en-assets\/2021\/09\/happiness-myths-A-Fest-Jordan-KHA_9057-Karen-Harms-442x295.jpg 442w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 1200px) 100vw, 1200px\" \/><figcaption class=\"wp-element-caption\">Kristina M\u00e4nd-Lakhiani, co-founder of Mindvalley, with Mindvalley&#8217;s chief marketing officer Marisha Lakhiani at A-Fest 2022 in Jordan<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-2-happiness-is-not-perfection\">2. Happiness is NOT perfection<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">As a human living in the 21st century, you may have been taught that life will not always give you what you want. The path can get rocky. And if you\u2019ve been waiting for everything to be perfect on that path before you allow yourself to be happy, you may just be setting yourself up for failure.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">But how to find happiness, then?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">According to a world-renowned philosopher-turned-business guru (who also happens to be a Mindvalley trainer), Srikumar Rao, you\u2019re happy not because everything is perfect, everything is perfect <em>because<\/em> you are happy.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">And sometimes, you might be surprised how you\u2019ll find joy through the darkest of times.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\" id=\"heading3\">True happiness is still attainable even if you\u2019ve been sent on a detour from the path. So ask yourself: Can you still enjoy the scenery while on that inevitable detour?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-3-happiness-is-not-the-absence-of-hardship\">3. Happiness is NOT the absence of hardship<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">So happiness does not equate to our subjective ideas about external perfection. Taking that idea a step further, Kristina points out that neither is it the absence of hardship.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">It\u2019s an idea that\u2019s often resisted to the bitter end.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">For example, when you were a child, odds are, your parents attempted to shelter you from the hardships of the world. If you\u2019re a parent, maybe you make an effort to dodge the subject of death or pain around your little ones, and at the very least, you attempt to make their lives as pleasant as possible.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">But this behavior, although born from good intentions, will paradoxically bring us more unhappiness in the long run.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Why? <strong>Because a key personal trait we need to be happy is resilience.<\/strong> And when you create an artificial environment without pain or struggle, you\u2019ll go through life without the necessary skills to survive and thrive when something really challenging comes along.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\" id=\"heading4\">Facing the ugliest human experiences with openness, understanding, and acceptance will not be detrimental. It\u2019ll be your training ground for a contented state of being, no matter what life throws at you.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image aligncenter size-full\"><img decoding=\"async\" width=\"1200\" height=\"800\" src=\"https:\/\/storage.googleapis.com\/mv-prod-blog-en-assets\/2021\/09\/happiness-myths-Mindvalley-University-2022-0C2A5745-Kersti-Niglas.jpg\" alt=\"Kristina M\u00e4nd-Lakhiani with a group of people at A fest\" class=\"wp-image-64494\" srcset=\"https:\/\/storage.googleapis.com\/mv-prod-blog-en-assets\/2021\/09\/happiness-myths-Mindvalley-University-2022-0C2A5745-Kersti-Niglas.jpg 1200w, https:\/\/storage.googleapis.com\/mv-prod-blog-en-assets\/2021\/09\/happiness-myths-Mindvalley-University-2022-0C2A5745-Kersti-Niglas-768x512.jpg 768w, https:\/\/storage.googleapis.com\/mv-prod-blog-en-assets\/2021\/09\/happiness-myths-Mindvalley-University-2022-0C2A5745-Kersti-Niglas-736x491.jpg 736w, https:\/\/storage.googleapis.com\/mv-prod-blog-en-assets\/2021\/09\/happiness-myths-Mindvalley-University-2022-0C2A5745-Kersti-Niglas-442x295.jpg 442w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 1200px) 100vw, 1200px\" \/><figcaption class=\"wp-element-caption\">Kristina M\u00e4nd-Lakhiani, co-founder of Mindvalley and trainer of the <em>From Awesome to Flawesome<\/em> program<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-4-happiness-is-not-a-symptom-of-doing-the-right-thing\">4. Happiness is NOT a symptom of doing the right thing<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<blockquote class=\"wp-block-quote is-layout-flow wp-block-quote-is-layout-flow\">\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Doing the right thing is not going to make you happy. If that were true, we wouldn\u2019t have the world\u2019s most successful people burnt out, wondering how the hell they ended up where they are\u2026unhappy.<\/p>\n<cite>\u2014 Kristina M\u00e4nd-Lakhiani, co-founder of Mindvalley and trainer of the <em>From Awesome to Flawesome<\/em> program<\/cite><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Kristina has first-hand experience with doing all the right things that land you in the wrong place. She was a good girl who followed all the rules, getting straight A\u2019s at school and university, marrying Mr. Right, having a couple of angelic children, and founding her dream business.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">But she ended up being pretty miserable.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Kristina learned very quickly that her level of success doesn\u2019t correlate with her level of happiness. In fact, research shows that the correlation actually goes in the other direction; <a href=\"https:\/\/www.forbes.com\/sites\/kathycaprino\/2013\/06\/06\/how-happiness-directly-impacts-your-success\/?sh=1c50e9ec618b\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">it\u2019s happiness that\u2019ll dictate your level of success<\/a>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\" id=\"heading5\">So happiness isn\u2019t a pleasant symptom of success or doing the right thing. It\u2019s a prerequisite.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-5-happiness-is-not-a-given\">5. Happiness is NOT a given<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">So, happiness is, in fact, NOT an emotion, nor does it come along when the conditions are perfect. And it\u2019s also safe to say that it\u2019s not a given. In other words, this state of being is never guaranteed, nor is anyone more or less worthy of it.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">So it\u2019s advisable to let go of these happiness myths. Don\u2019t be tricked into thinking that you\u2019re meant to be naturally happy and that if you aren\u2019t, you deem yourself as <em>lesser-than<\/em>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Just like an incredible relationship needs to be nurtured and a dream business needs to be built from the ground up, <strong>happiness is something that requires effort and commitment.&nbsp;<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">No matter what brings you into a happy state of being, whether it\u2019s <a href=\"https:\/\/blog.mindvalley.com\/positive-affirmations\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">positive affirmations<\/a>, spending time with loved ones, meditating, practicing <a href=\"https:\/\/blog.mindvalley.com\/self-love-routine\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">self-care<\/a>, traveling the world, or expressing gratitude for what you already have, you\u2019re in the driver\u2019s seat to practice and facilitate it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image aligncenter size-full\"><img decoding=\"async\" width=\"1200\" height=\"798\" src=\"https:\/\/storage.googleapis.com\/mv-prod-blog-en-assets\/2021\/09\/happiness-myths-A-Fest-Jordan-KHA_8716-Karen-Harms.jpg\" alt=\"Kristina Mand Lakhiani on Happiness Myths\" class=\"wp-image-64495\" srcset=\"https:\/\/storage.googleapis.com\/mv-prod-blog-en-assets\/2021\/09\/happiness-myths-A-Fest-Jordan-KHA_8716-Karen-Harms.jpg 1200w, https:\/\/storage.googleapis.com\/mv-prod-blog-en-assets\/2021\/09\/happiness-myths-A-Fest-Jordan-KHA_8716-Karen-Harms-768x511.jpg 768w, https:\/\/storage.googleapis.com\/mv-prod-blog-en-assets\/2021\/09\/happiness-myths-A-Fest-Jordan-KHA_8716-Karen-Harms-442x295.jpg 442w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 1200px) 100vw, 1200px\" \/><figcaption class=\"wp-element-caption\">Kristina M\u00e4nd-Lakhiani, co-founder of Mindvalley and trainer of the <em>From Awesome to Flawesome<\/em> program<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-to-be-or-not-to-be-happy\">To be or not to be\u2026 Happy<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Can you wake up one day instantly happy and feeling good? Probably. But does it work for everyone? Probably not.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">What <em>can <\/em>work, though, is deciding every day to do your best to connect to that state of being.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Once you\u2019ve broken down your limiting beliefs regarding happiness myths and what happiness is not, you can start building your path to a lifetime of joy and serenity. And one great place to start is by joining Mindvalley\u2019s <a href=\"https:\/\/www.mindvalley.com\/ownrules\/?utm_source=blog_inline_link&amp;utm_campaign=evergreen_lbyor&amp;utm_medium=end_of_article&amp;otag=mv_blog_lbyor\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\"><strong><em>From Awesome to Flawesome<\/em><\/strong><\/a> program, guided by Kristina.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">What\u2019s truly transformational about it is the community you will find to support you on your way. As the saying goes, happiness is the journey, not the destination, but now you don\u2019t have to do it all alone.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Welcome in.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>We all have a definition of happiness, but do we ever think about what it is not? Kristina M\u00e4nd-Lakhiani uncovers the happiness myths once and for all.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":167,"featured_media":64490,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"om_disable_all_campaigns":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[4],"tags":[5996],"series":[],"area-of-growth":[],"outcome":[3480,3485,3521,3479,3443],"featured":[],"coauthors":[2479],"class_list":["post-55103","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-mind","tag-from-awesome-to-flawesome","outcome-authenticity","outcome-happiness","outcome-self-awareness","outcome-self-love","outcome-well-being"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO Premium plugin v27.6 (Yoast SEO v27.6) - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-premium-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>This Is What Happiness Is NOT - 5 Happiness Myths<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"We all have a definition of happiness, but do we ever think about what it is not? Kristina M\u00e4nd-Lakhiani uncovers the happiness myths once and for all.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.mindvalley.com\/blog\/happiness-myths\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"This Is What Happiness Is NOT - 5 Happiness Myths\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"We all have a definition of happiness, but do we ever think about what it is not? 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