When someone cuts in front of you without so much as an apology, you may react in rage<\/a>. Or when your child is crying, you may angrily tell them to \u201cstop being a baby<\/em>.\u201d Or when your coworker can\u2019t stop yapping while you\u2019re on a deadline, you may go all \u201cKaren\u201d on them. <\/p>\n\n\n\n These are all examples of emotional triggers. And the unfortunate thing is, they all come with dire consequences.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Emotional triggers are like little landmines that we’re often unaware of until they explode in our faces. But why do they happen, and what impact do they have on us?<\/p>\n\n\n\n Generally speaking, they can be caused by anything from past traumas to present stressors. They can take many different forms, including words, actions, or even smells. When triggered, we may experience different types of emotions<\/a>, from anger to sadness to fear.<\/p>\n\n\n\n And studies<\/a> say it too: when a traumatic or disturbing event occurs in our lives, our psyche gets triggered by certain external stimuli. Further on in life, an outside \u201cstressor\u201d that may resemble a moment of trauma from the past can activate parts of our mind that haven\u2019t been healed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Triggers can take many shapes and forms. They can fire you up immediately or just appear as background noise. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Here\u2019s a list of emotional triggers that are common for most people:<\/p>\n\n\n\n For example, think of someone who grew up with emotionally unavailable parents. They can grow up to be highly successful and put together, but get triggered when their partner doesn\u2019t return their calls.<\/p>\n\n\n\n In situations like these, it\u2019s never about the actual gravity of the moment but rather the fundamental familiar feeling that\u2019s being reactivated.<\/p>\n\n\n\n While each parent is unique in their reactions to certain situations, some triggers seem common for most parents:<\/p>\n\n\n\n In the podcast episode, Rhea explains, \u201cAny time we withdraw, we feel hurt, we feel <\/em>angry,<\/em><\/a> we feel unsafe or insecure\u2014it tells us that we have a wound that needs to be healed.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n Parents tend to forget that children are still figuring out their big emotions. (Heck, we, as adults, often have that problem, too.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n So instead of being calm and supportive, they sometimes respond with irritation, exasperation, anger, or rage. <\/p>\n\n\n\n More than likely, these reactions are their defense mechanisms to lessen our emotional discomfort. <\/p>\n\n\n\n The sense of self-regulation isn\u2019t innate; it\u2019s a learned skill. And being able to pick up on them gives you the opportunity to deal with them early, which then brings about good emotional health.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Take Vishen, for example. He shared a time when there was a particularly scary situation, and he was told not to cry. \u201cAn older person in my family yelled at me for crying and told me that I was behaving like a baby,\u201d<\/em> he recollects.<\/p>\n\n\n\n That childhood trauma planted the notion in his mind that crying equals weakness. \u201cEvery time I cried, even if it was something worth crying for, like a death of a loved one, as an adult male, I felt that I wasn\u2019t being a man,\u201d<\/em> he adds. \u201cSo I suppressed my emotions for the longest time.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n Traumatic events, unfortunately, are not uncommon. A 2019 report<\/a> on childhood trauma by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention reported that more than 60% of American adults experienced at least one adverse childhood experience\u2014abuse, neglect, and all other potentially traumatic experiences\u2014in their youth.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Now, while being triggered emotionally may not be ideal, it gives you cues that something has rocked the boat. <\/p>\n\n\n\n As a result, it can help you better understand how to: <\/p>\n\n\n\n As the saying goes, \u201cKnowing is half the battle.\u201d<\/em> When you\u2019re open to identifying your triggers, you\u2019re in a much better position to bring your consciousness to the present moment instead of reverting back to the traumatic event.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Rhea suggests writing down your top three emotional triggers. What things make you most upset and throw you off balance?<\/p>\n\n\n\n Once you get a good insight into those triggers, you can use them as a springboard to understand yourself better and choose a conscious response.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Here\u2019s the thing: It\u2019s not the situation that causes our emotional triggers. It\u2019s our thoughts about the situation that do so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n In fact, intrusive thoughts and memories can come flooding in at any given trigger, according to the trauma-informed care protocol<\/a> of the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration. <\/p>\n\n\n\n The good news is, Rhea, in her conversation with Vishen, shares how to manage emotional triggers with some powerful self-regulating practices you can do. Here\u2019s a brief summary of that:<\/p>\n\n\n\n Our body has a defense mechanism when it senses that we may be or are in danger\u2014it\u2019s known as the “fight or flight response.” It causes us to shut down and conserve energy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n So with trauma, our bodies can react in physical ways, such as with muscle tension, headaches, an upset stomach, or even fatigue.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Insight from Rhea Lalla:<\/strong> \u201cYour body is going to give you an indicator that \u2018I\u2019m feeling triggered right now.\u2019 And you want to be able to catch it before you say a whole bunch of things that create a whole bunch of mess that you have to clean up.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n More often than not, those who have trouble making sense of their emotions end up being slaves to them. Naming your trigger is about understanding what you\u2019re feeling and why you\u2019re feeling it. It\u2019ll help you make sense of the emotion you\u2019re feeling.<\/p>\n\n\n\nWhere do they come from?<\/h2>\n\n\n\n
Examples of triggers<\/h2>\n\n\n\n
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Common triggers for parents<\/h3>\n\n\n\n
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Are emotional triggers important?<\/h2>\n\n\n\n
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How to identify your own emotional triggers<\/h2>\n\n\n\n
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<\/figure>\n\n\n\n5 tips on how to deal with emotional triggers<\/h2>\n\n\n\n
1. Notice your body\u2019s reactions<\/h3>\n\n\n\n
2. Name the trigger<\/h3>\n\n\n\n