{"id":65269,"date":"2022-10-28T18:38:35","date_gmt":"2022-10-28T10:38:35","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/blog.mindvalley.com\/?p=65269"},"modified":"2025-05-22T13:19:08","modified_gmt":"2025-05-22T12:19:08","slug":"how-to-build-rapport","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.mindvalley.com\/blog\/how-to-build-rapport\/","title":{"rendered":"How to Build Rapport Like an FBI Spy Recruiter"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">There\u2019s a certain warmth when you connect with others. It\u2019s like the comfort \u2014 even a sense of relief \u2014 that you feel when you come home from a long, crazy day.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">For some, it\u2019s second nature. For others, it takes practice. But learning how to build rapport with others provides us with the good vibes that come with \u201chitting it off\u201d with someone.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Here\u2019s a go-to guide on how to master the art of creating affinity with anybody:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li><a href=\"#h-what-is-rapport\">What Is Rapport?<\/a><\/li>\n\n\n\n<li><a href=\"#h-why-is-it-important-to-build-rapport\">Why Is It Important to Build Rapport?<\/a><\/li>\n\n\n\n<li><a href=\"#h-5-things-to-do-to-build-rapport-with-anyone-according-to-robin-dreeke\">5 Things to Do to Build Rapport With Anyone, According to Robin Dreeke<\/a><\/li>\n\n\n\n<li><a href=\"#h-how-to-build-rapport-simple-techniques-to-use-in-different-situations\">How to Build Rapport: Simple Techniques to Use In Different Situations<\/a><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">While this is an important life skill, it\u2019s also a huge aspect of coaching people (if that\u2019s a path you\u2019re exploring). Knowing how to build rapport and trust with anyone can help bolster their well-being, happiness, and purpose as well as yours.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-what-is-rapport\">What Is Rapport?<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">There\u2019s a bond that happens when it comes to building rapport, meaning mutual trust, respect, and affinity are needed to develop that connection. It promotes harmony, compassion, and benevolence between people.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">The word derives from the French verb <em>rapporter<\/em>, which means \u201cto bring back.\u201d It\u2019s the idea that the energy one person sends out, the other sends it back.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">In addition to that, <a href=\"https:\/\/www.collinsdictionary.com\/dictionary\/french-english\/rapport\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\"><em>rapport<\/em><\/a> in French can be used in terms of a relationship. For example, <em>ils ont de bons rapport<\/em> translates to \u201cthey have a good relationship.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Here\u2019s the thing, though: <strong>rapport is more than just sharing experiences for the sake of \u201cclicking\u201d with someone<\/strong>. It\u2019s really a mastery of <strong>understanding what drives people<\/strong>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-rapport-is-about-understanding-human-behavior\">Rapport is about understanding human behavior<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">What makes rapport so gratifying? It boils down to how we, as humans, are wired to seek psychological comfort.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">We prioritize three things: safety, security, and prosperity, according to <strong>Robin Dreeke<\/strong>, former FBI behavioral expert and master spy recruiter. He adds that these factors drive us to act in our best interest.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">In an <a href=\"https:\/\/podcast.mindvalley.com\/former-fbi-spy-teaches-how-to-build-rapport-with-others-robin-dreeke\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">interview<\/a> on Selling With Love (formerly known as Superhumans at Work, a Mindvalley Podcast), Robin shares that to find common ground, \u201c<em>figure out what the other person\u2019s priorities are and offer them resources in terms of those priorities.<\/em>\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Simply put, when you have a sense of what matters to them, you predict how they will behave and start to build rapport. The person, then, trusts and has confidence in the connection between you two, which triggers their brain to release dopamine, serotonin, and oxytocin.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">The result is the warm, fuzzy feelings we recognize as love and belonging.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<blockquote class=\"instagram-media\" data-instgrm-permalink=\"https:\/\/www.instagram.com\/p\/B8XGzkNpbN3\/?utm_source=ig_embed&amp;utm_campaign=loading\" data-instgrm-version=\"14\" style=\" background:#FFF; border:0; border-radius:3px; box-shadow:0 0 1px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.5),0 1px 10px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.15); margin: 1px; min-width:326px; padding:0; width:99.375%; width:-webkit-calc(100% - 2px); width:calc(100% - 2px);\"><div style=\"padding:16px;\"> <a href=\"https:\/\/www.instagram.com\/p\/B8XGzkNpbN3\/?utm_source=ig_embed&amp;utm_campaign=loading\" style=\" background:#FFFFFF; line-height:0; padding:0 0; text-align:center; text-decoration:none; width:100%;\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\"> <div style=\" display: flex; flex-direction: row; align-items: center;\"> <div style=\"background-color: #F4F4F4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 40px; margin-right: 14px; width: 40px;\"><\/div> <div style=\"display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center;\"> <div style=\" background-color: #F4F4F4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 100px;\"><\/div> <div style=\" background-color: #F4F4F4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 60px;\"><\/div><\/div><\/div><div style=\"padding: 19% 0;\"><\/div> <div style=\"display:block; height:50px; margin:0 auto 12px; width:50px;\"><svg width=\"50px\" height=\"50px\" viewBox=\"0 0 60 60\" version=\"1.1\" xmlns=\"https:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg\" xmlns:xlink=\"https:\/\/www.w3.org\/1999\/xlink\"><g stroke=\"none\" stroke-width=\"1\" fill=\"none\" fill-rule=\"evenodd\"><g transform=\"translate(-511.000000, -20.000000)\" fill=\"#000000\"><g><path d=\"M556.869,30.41 C554.814,30.41 553.148,32.076 553.148,34.131 C553.148,36.186 554.814,37.852 556.869,37.852 C558.924,37.852 560.59,36.186 560.59,34.131 C560.59,32.076 558.924,30.41 556.869,30.41 M541,60.657 C535.114,60.657 530.342,55.887 530.342,50 C530.342,44.114 535.114,39.342 541,39.342 C546.887,39.342 551.658,44.114 551.658,50 C551.658,55.887 546.887,60.657 541,60.657 M541,33.886 C532.1,33.886 524.886,41.1 524.886,50 C524.886,58.899 532.1,66.113 541,66.113 C549.9,66.113 557.115,58.899 557.115,50 C557.115,41.1 549.9,33.886 541,33.886 M565.378,62.101 C565.244,65.022 564.756,66.606 564.346,67.663 C563.803,69.06 563.154,70.057 562.106,71.106 C561.058,72.155 560.06,72.803 558.662,73.347 C557.607,73.757 556.021,74.244 553.102,74.378 C549.944,74.521 548.997,74.552 541,74.552 C533.003,74.552 532.056,74.521 528.898,74.378 C525.979,74.244 524.393,73.757 523.338,73.347 C521.94,72.803 520.942,72.155 519.894,71.106 C518.846,70.057 518.197,69.06 517.654,67.663 C517.244,66.606 516.755,65.022 516.623,62.101 C516.479,58.943 516.448,57.996 516.448,50 C516.448,42.003 516.479,41.056 516.623,37.899 C516.755,34.978 517.244,33.391 517.654,32.338 C518.197,30.938 518.846,29.942 519.894,28.894 C520.942,27.846 521.94,27.196 523.338,26.654 C524.393,26.244 525.979,25.756 528.898,25.623 C532.057,25.479 533.004,25.448 541,25.448 C548.997,25.448 549.943,25.479 553.102,25.623 C556.021,25.756 557.607,26.244 558.662,26.654 C560.06,27.196 561.058,27.846 562.106,28.894 C563.154,29.942 563.803,30.938 564.346,32.338 C564.756,33.391 565.244,34.978 565.378,37.899 C565.522,41.056 565.552,42.003 565.552,50 C565.552,57.996 565.522,58.943 565.378,62.101 M570.82,37.631 C570.674,34.438 570.167,32.258 569.425,30.349 C568.659,28.377 567.633,26.702 565.965,25.035 C564.297,23.368 562.623,22.342 560.652,21.575 C558.743,20.834 556.562,20.326 553.369,20.18 C550.169,20.033 549.148,20 541,20 C532.853,20 531.831,20.033 528.631,20.18 C525.438,20.326 523.257,20.834 521.349,21.575 C519.376,22.342 517.703,23.368 516.035,25.035 C514.368,26.702 513.342,28.377 512.574,30.349 C511.834,32.258 511.326,34.438 511.181,37.631 C511.035,40.831 511,41.851 511,50 C511,58.147 511.035,59.17 511.181,62.369 C511.326,65.562 511.834,67.743 512.574,69.651 C513.342,71.625 514.368,73.296 516.035,74.965 C517.703,76.634 519.376,77.658 521.349,78.425 C523.257,79.167 525.438,79.673 528.631,79.82 C531.831,79.965 532.853,80.001 541,80.001 C549.148,80.001 550.169,79.965 553.369,79.82 C556.562,79.673 558.743,79.167 560.652,78.425 C562.623,77.658 564.297,76.634 565.965,74.965 C567.633,73.296 568.659,71.625 569.425,69.651 C570.167,67.743 570.674,65.562 570.82,62.369 C570.966,59.17 571,58.147 571,50 C571,41.851 570.966,40.831 570.82,37.631\"><\/path><\/g><\/g><\/g><\/svg><\/div><div style=\"padding-top: 8px;\"> <div style=\" color:#3897f0; font-family:Arial,sans-serif; font-size:14px; font-style:normal; font-weight:550; line-height:18px;\">View this post on Instagram<\/div><\/div><div style=\"padding: 12.5% 0;\"><\/div> <div style=\"display: flex; flex-direction: row; margin-bottom: 14px; align-items: center;\"><div> <div style=\"background-color: #F4F4F4; border-radius: 50%; height: 12.5px; width: 12.5px; transform: translateX(0px) translateY(7px);\"><\/div> <div style=\"background-color: #F4F4F4; height: 12.5px; transform: rotate(-45deg) translateX(3px) translateY(1px); width: 12.5px; flex-grow: 0; margin-right: 14px; margin-left: 2px;\"><\/div> <div style=\"background-color: #F4F4F4; border-radius: 50%; height: 12.5px; width: 12.5px; transform: translateX(9px) translateY(-18px);\"><\/div><\/div><div style=\"margin-left: 8px;\"> <div style=\" background-color: #F4F4F4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 20px; width: 20px;\"><\/div> <div style=\" width: 0; height: 0; border-top: 2px solid transparent; border-left: 6px solid #f4f4f4; border-bottom: 2px solid transparent; transform: translateX(16px) translateY(-4px) rotate(30deg)\"><\/div><\/div><div style=\"margin-left: auto;\"> <div style=\" width: 0px; border-top: 8px solid #F4F4F4; border-right: 8px solid transparent; transform: translateY(16px);\"><\/div> <div style=\" background-color: #F4F4F4; flex-grow: 0; height: 12px; width: 16px; transform: translateY(-4px);\"><\/div> <div style=\" width: 0; height: 0; border-top: 8px solid #F4F4F4; border-left: 8px solid transparent; transform: translateY(-4px) translateX(8px);\"><\/div><\/div><\/div> <div style=\"display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center; margin-bottom: 24px;\"> <div style=\" background-color: #F4F4F4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 224px;\"><\/div> <div style=\" background-color: #F4F4F4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 144px;\"><\/div><\/div><\/a><p style=\" color:#c9c8cd; font-family:Arial,sans-serif; font-size:14px; line-height:17px; margin-bottom:0; margin-top:8px; overflow:hidden; padding:8px 0 7px; text-align:center; text-overflow:ellipsis; white-space:nowrap;\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.instagram.com\/p\/B8XGzkNpbN3\/?utm_source=ig_embed&amp;utm_campaign=loading\" style=\" color:#c9c8cd; font-family:Arial,sans-serif; font-size:14px; font-style:normal; font-weight:normal; line-height:17px; text-decoration:none;\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">A post shared by Robin Dreeke (@rdreeke)<\/a><\/p><\/div><\/blockquote> <script async=\"\" src=\"\/\/www.instagram.com\/embed.js\"><\/script>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-why-is-it-important-to-build-rapport\">Why Is It Important to Build Rapport?<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Humans are social creatures and it\u2019s in our nature to connect with one another. Science shows that social connection bolsters our mental, physical, and emotional well-being. And rapport is key to that connection.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<blockquote class=\"wp-block-quote is-layout-flow wp-block-quote-is-layout-flow\">\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Nothing in life happens without relationships.<\/p>\n<cite>\u2014 Robin Dreeke, former FBI behavioral expert and master spy recruiter<\/cite><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">As mentioned, it\u2019s really about the need for love and belonging, which, according to Abraham Maslow\u2019s hierarchy of needs, is an important factor of self-actualization. And when these desires \u2014 affiliation, trust, acceptance, etc. \u2014 are met, they empower our purpose in life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Everyone is unique, so knowing how to build rapport with different individuals can be an asset. Here are a few benefits that come along with it:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li>Establishes mutual trust<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Earns you respect<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Allows you to practice <a href=\"https:\/\/blog.mindvalley.com\/effective-communication-skills\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">effective communication skills<\/a><\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Boosts your confidence<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Leads to numerous health benefits<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">It really is about helping other people. When your goal is to be a resource for the success of others, as Robin points out, their success is your success. And that triumph releases dopamine in your brain.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">\u201c<em>Now, you become addicted to becoming a resource for the success of others,<\/em>\u201d he adds.<em> <\/em>\u201c<em>And that becomes your new dopamine hit rather than making yourself look good.<\/em>\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">What\u2019s more, the <a href=\"https:\/\/worldhappiness.report\/ed\/2022\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">2022 World Happiness Report<\/a> found that the more you\u2019re around trustworthy, kind, and generous people, the more you practice being the same yourself. As a result, the better your life experience will be.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-5-things-to-do-to-build-rapport-with-anyone-according-to-robin-dreeke\">5 Things to Do to Build Rapport With Anyone, According to Robin Dreeke<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">While the basics of rapport are easy enough to grasp, building it takes a certain set of <a href=\"https:\/\/blog.mindvalley.com\/soft-skills\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">soft skills<\/a>.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Remember: people will act in their best interests in terms of their priorities \u2014 safety, security, and prosperity. And the truth is, it\u2019s tough to convince a person to do something that they don\u2019t think is in their best interest.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">The trick, according to Robin, is to inspire them to want to. \u201c<em>You need to make it about everyone else but yourself,<\/em>\u201d he advises.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-embed is-type-rich is-provider-spotify wp-block-embed-spotify wp-embed-aspect-21-9 wp-has-aspect-ratio\"><div class=\"wp-block-embed__wrapper\">\n<iframe title=\"Spotify Embed: Former FBI Spy Teaches How To Build Rapport With Others - Robin Dreeke\" style=\"border-radius: 12px\" width=\"100%\" height=\"152\" frameborder=\"0\" allowfullscreen allow=\"autoplay; clipboard-write; encrypted-media; fullscreen; picture-in-picture\" loading=\"lazy\" src=\"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/embed\/episode\/3PmKq1BK3SAPbunPIKTjkq?si=a3e651c103e84cc6&#038;utm_source=oembed\"><\/iframe>\n<\/div><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">You can tune into the podcast episode and have a thorough listen. But here is a wrap-up of five things he recommends to do:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-1-suspend-your-ego-and-vanity\">1. Suspend your ego and vanity<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Ego is our arrogant selves, while vanity is excessive pride in our abilities. And in this digital age of chasing \u201clikes,\u201d social media provides the means to boost both, according to a <a href=\"https:\/\/news.umich.edu\/you-re-so-vain-u-m-study-links-social-media-and-narcissism\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">study<\/a> by the University of Michigan.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">But part of learning how to build rapport with someone is being humble. And people respond to how you treat them. If they see that you let your ego and vanity take the wheel, they will likely turn the other way.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">So when you walk into a conversation, leave your ego and vanity at the door.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-2-seek-their-thoughts-and-opinions\">2. Seek their thoughts and opinions<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">When you seek a person\u2019s thoughts and opinions, you gain insight into how they think and their experiences. This shows humility, which tells the person that you don\u2019t know everything, so you\u2019re curious and care to know more.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Here are a few examples of <strong>rapport-building questions<\/strong> that can help you get the ball rolling:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li>What are some of your <a href=\"https:\/\/blog.mindvalley.com\/personal-goals\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">personal goals<\/a> and priorities right now?<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>What are the biggest obstacles you\u2019re facing in work and life?<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>What are your thoughts on [insert topic]?<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>How do you feel about it?<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>What do you wish would happen?<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Asking these open-ended questions allows your mind to see things from different perspectives. Moreover, when you take the time to understand their thoughts and opinions, you\u2019re better equipped to determine how to interact with them or if you even feel comfortable around them to do so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-3-speak-in-terms-of-their-priorities\">3. Speak in terms of their priorities<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">People can go on for hours about things that matter to them. So to hold the conversation, really get into what their priorities, goals, dreams, aspirations, challenges in life, needs, and wants are.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">According to Robin, when the focus is on them, their brain rewards them with happy hormones. It\u2019s like when you\u2019re selling a product to someone, one of the top sales tips is to find out where their interests lie and what needs are not being met.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">So distinguish what their priorities are and then find common ground there.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-4-validate-them-without-judgment\">4. Validate them without judgment<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">A lot of us are hard-wired to let our egos be in the driver\u2019s seat. However, when you can override the desire to make it about the other person, then it lowers their <a href=\"https:\/\/greatergood.berkeley.edu\/article\/item\/how_to_overcome_your_brains_fixation_on_bad_things\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">negativity bias<\/a> and builds up trust.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Let\u2019s say the person\u2019s priorities include getting <a href=\"https:\/\/blog.mindvalley.com\/how-to-get-coaching-clients\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">coaching clients<\/a> for their business. The conversation could go like this:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><strong>You: <\/strong><em>What are your thoughts about the <\/em><a href=\"https:\/\/blog.mindvalley.com\/coaching-techniques\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\"><em>coaching techniques<\/em><\/a><em> in Mindvalley\u2019s coaching programs?<\/em><br><strong>Them: <\/strong><em>Well, I think\u2026[insert thoughts and opinions here]<\/em><br><strong>You:<\/strong> <em>Wow, I never thought about it that way. Help me understand how you came up with that.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">And as they continue to share their perspectives on the matter, their brain rewards them and their \u201cshields\u201d continue to lower.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Robin does note that validating them doesn\u2019t always mean you agree with them. It just means you\u2019re seeking to understand them better.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-5-empower-them-with-choices\">5. Empower them with choices<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">None of us like being what to do. Our brains feel like it\u2019s threatening our freedom or that our choices are being limited. And when we are ordered around, many of us react in annoyance, frustration, or anger.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">So rapport isn\u2019t about giving advice or telling them what to do. It\u2019s about presenting them with options so they feel they have the freedom and power to choose.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image aligncenter size-full\"><img fetchpriority=\"high\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"1200\" height=\"800\" src=\"https:\/\/storage.googleapis.com\/mv-prod-blog-en-assets\/2022\/10\/20227e70-how-to-build-rapport-pexels-cottonbro-5989927.jpg\" alt=\"Women shaking hands as a way to show how to build rapport\" class=\"wp-image-65270\" srcset=\"https:\/\/storage.googleapis.com\/mv-prod-blog-en-assets\/2022\/10\/20227e70-how-to-build-rapport-pexels-cottonbro-5989927.jpg 1200w, https:\/\/storage.googleapis.com\/mv-prod-blog-en-assets\/2022\/10\/20227e70-how-to-build-rapport-pexels-cottonbro-5989927-768x512.jpg 768w, https:\/\/storage.googleapis.com\/mv-prod-blog-en-assets\/2022\/10\/20227e70-how-to-build-rapport-pexels-cottonbro-5989927-736x491.jpg 736w, https:\/\/storage.googleapis.com\/mv-prod-blog-en-assets\/2022\/10\/20227e70-how-to-build-rapport-pexels-cottonbro-5989927-442x295.jpg 442w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 1200px) 100vw, 1200px\" \/><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-how-to-build-rapport-simple-techniques-to-use-in-different-situations\">How to Build Rapport: Simple Techniques to Use In Different Situations<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Building rapport can immensely benefit you and those you interact with. However, while you can take the driver\u2019s test, you still need to know the skills to maneuver the car.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<blockquote class=\"wp-block-quote is-layout-flow wp-block-quote-is-layout-flow\">\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">When we have some kind of connection with someone, it makes it easier for the person to really respond [to you]. You\u2019re a little bit more open when you find yourself in good energy and a good vibration with the person you\u2019re talking to.<\/p>\n<cite>\u2014 Ajit Nawakha, co-founder of Evercoach by Mindvalley<\/cite><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">That\u2019s where learning <a href=\"https:\/\/blog.mindvalley.com\/coaching-skills\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">coaching skills<\/a> can come in handy. And the Evercoach by Mindvalley\u2019s programs can help you master how to build rapport in different situations.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-1-how-to-build-rapport-with-coworkers\">1. How to build rapport with coworkers<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Strong connections between coworkers can help boost morale, increasing productivity. So how can you get to know people in your organization better?&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Ajit Nawalkha, co-founder of Evercoach by Mindvalley, teaches an acronym that can be applied here. It\u2019s called BRAVING.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li><strong>B (Boundaries): <\/strong>Understand what\u2019s okay or not okay and respect it.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li><strong>R (Reliability):<\/strong> Be consistent and dependable with your coworker.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li><strong>A (Accountability):<\/strong> Take responsibility for your actions, whether you\u2019ve done it or you were supposed to do it.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li><strong>V (Vault): <\/strong>Provide a safe space for them to be open with you.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li><strong>I (Integrity):<\/strong> Be honest and transparent in your communication. Be courageous to act in line with your core values and your coworker\u2019s best interest at heart, if necessary.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li><strong>N (Non-judgment):<\/strong> Be open-minded and understand that everyone comes from different backgrounds and that we\u2019re all working through something.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li><strong>G (Generosity): <\/strong>Show up with an open heart and serve from a place of love.&nbsp;<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Not only will these elements build trust between you and your coworker, but they will also help you reflect on what trust means to you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-2-how-to-build-rapport-with-clients\">2. How to build rapport with clients<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Ajit has some great suggestions on how to build trust quickly, especially with new clients:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li><strong>Be honest and competent. <\/strong>\u201c<em>[Honesty] is a very important determinant if your client will really commit to being honest with you<\/em>.\u201d&nbsp; Moreover, if a client gives you all their trust, it helps if you can show that you\u2019re competent in your abilities.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li><strong>Be vulnerable.<\/strong> This is when \u201c<em>you are presenting what is happening in your life vulnerably and honestly to them<\/em>\u201d and not for the sake of being vulnerable. Remember that it\u2019s about your client, not you.&nbsp;<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li><strong>Have clear boundaries and agreements.<\/strong> \u201c<em>That\u2019s an important factor in building trust, in knowing what\u2019s okay to do and what\u2019s okay to do.<\/em>\u201d When you both clarify your boundaries, it creates a safe space for everyone.&nbsp;<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li><strong>Understand their learning styles. <\/strong>\u201c<em>It gives you an opportunity to create learning models around the way they learn better.<\/em>\u201d<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li><strong>Build empathy.<\/strong> Empathy is often mistaken for shared experiences. It\u2019s actually about being able to \u201c<em>reflect into somebody\u2019s experience, then be able to see \u2018<\/em>how would I like to be supported at that time?<em>\u2019 and then supporting the person in the same way.<\/em>\u201d<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">If you want more clarity on each point, you can watch Ajit explain it here:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h6 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><em>How To Create Trust With New Clients (FAST!) &#8211; Video<\/em><a href=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/c\/evercoach\"><\/a><\/h6>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-embed is-type-video is-provider-youtube wp-block-embed-youtube wp-embed-aspect-16-9 wp-has-aspect-ratio\"><div class=\"wp-block-embed__wrapper\">\n<iframe title=\"How to build rapport with new coaching clients fast\" width=\"800\" height=\"450\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/woUlXVet5l0?feature=oembed\" frameborder=\"0\" allow=\"accelerometer; autoplay; clipboard-write; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture; web-share\" referrerpolicy=\"strict-origin-when-cross-origin\" allowfullscreen><\/iframe>\n<\/div><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-3-how-to-build-rapport-over-the-phone\">3. How to build rapport over the phone<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">While some prefer sending messages, there are still those who\u2019d rather get on the line. Now, it\u2019s one thing to have face-to-face communication, but grasping how to build rapport over the phone is another.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">To create a bond of understanding and truth in this manner, here are a few things to keep in mind:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li><strong>Be aware.<\/strong> It allows you to recognize your views on your experiences as well as how others see them. With awareness, you can also explore emotions and situations without bias or judgment.&nbsp;<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li><strong>Be present and listen. <\/strong>When you\u2019re in the moment, you give the other person permission to do the same.&nbsp;<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li><strong>Ask powerful questions.<\/strong> These are open-ended questions asked with genuine care and curiosity. It helps your clients discover insights and move past their limitations.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">There are, without a doubt, more techniques to build rapport that are not in person. You can discover them through <a href=\"https:\/\/blog.mindvalley.com\/life-coaching\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">life coaching<\/a> if that\u2019s something that interests you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<blockquote class=\"instagram-media\" data-instgrm-permalink=\"https:\/\/www.instagram.com\/p\/CR3H4O8rmNo\/?utm_source=ig_embed&amp;utm_campaign=loading\" data-instgrm-version=\"14\" style=\" background:#FFF; border:0; border-radius:3px; box-shadow:0 0 1px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.5),0 1px 10px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.15); margin: 1px; min-width:326px; padding:0; width:99.375%; width:-webkit-calc(100% - 2px); width:calc(100% - 2px);\"><div style=\"padding:16px;\"> <a href=\"https:\/\/www.instagram.com\/p\/CR3H4O8rmNo\/?utm_source=ig_embed&amp;utm_campaign=loading\" style=\" background:#FFFFFF; line-height:0; padding:0 0; text-align:center; text-decoration:none; width:100%;\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\"> <div style=\" display: flex; flex-direction: row; align-items: center;\"> <div style=\"background-color: #F4F4F4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 40px; margin-right: 14px; width: 40px;\"><\/div> <div style=\"display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center;\"> <div style=\" background-color: #F4F4F4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 100px;\"><\/div> <div style=\" background-color: #F4F4F4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 60px;\"><\/div><\/div><\/div><div style=\"padding: 19% 0;\"><\/div> <div style=\"display:block; height:50px; margin:0 auto 12px; width:50px;\"><svg width=\"50px\" height=\"50px\" viewBox=\"0 0 60 60\" version=\"1.1\" xmlns=\"https:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg\" xmlns:xlink=\"https:\/\/www.w3.org\/1999\/xlink\"><g stroke=\"none\" stroke-width=\"1\" fill=\"none\" fill-rule=\"evenodd\"><g transform=\"translate(-511.000000, -20.000000)\" fill=\"#000000\"><g><path d=\"M556.869,30.41 C554.814,30.41 553.148,32.076 553.148,34.131 C553.148,36.186 554.814,37.852 556.869,37.852 C558.924,37.852 560.59,36.186 560.59,34.131 C560.59,32.076 558.924,30.41 556.869,30.41 M541,60.657 C535.114,60.657 530.342,55.887 530.342,50 C530.342,44.114 535.114,39.342 541,39.342 C546.887,39.342 551.658,44.114 551.658,50 C551.658,55.887 546.887,60.657 541,60.657 M541,33.886 C532.1,33.886 524.886,41.1 524.886,50 C524.886,58.899 532.1,66.113 541,66.113 C549.9,66.113 557.115,58.899 557.115,50 C557.115,41.1 549.9,33.886 541,33.886 M565.378,62.101 C565.244,65.022 564.756,66.606 564.346,67.663 C563.803,69.06 563.154,70.057 562.106,71.106 C561.058,72.155 560.06,72.803 558.662,73.347 C557.607,73.757 556.021,74.244 553.102,74.378 C549.944,74.521 548.997,74.552 541,74.552 C533.003,74.552 532.056,74.521 528.898,74.378 C525.979,74.244 524.393,73.757 523.338,73.347 C521.94,72.803 520.942,72.155 519.894,71.106 C518.846,70.057 518.197,69.06 517.654,67.663 C517.244,66.606 516.755,65.022 516.623,62.101 C516.479,58.943 516.448,57.996 516.448,50 C516.448,42.003 516.479,41.056 516.623,37.899 C516.755,34.978 517.244,33.391 517.654,32.338 C518.197,30.938 518.846,29.942 519.894,28.894 C520.942,27.846 521.94,27.196 523.338,26.654 C524.393,26.244 525.979,25.756 528.898,25.623 C532.057,25.479 533.004,25.448 541,25.448 C548.997,25.448 549.943,25.479 553.102,25.623 C556.021,25.756 557.607,26.244 558.662,26.654 C560.06,27.196 561.058,27.846 562.106,28.894 C563.154,29.942 563.803,30.938 564.346,32.338 C564.756,33.391 565.244,34.978 565.378,37.899 C565.522,41.056 565.552,42.003 565.552,50 C565.552,57.996 565.522,58.943 565.378,62.101 M570.82,37.631 C570.674,34.438 570.167,32.258 569.425,30.349 C568.659,28.377 567.633,26.702 565.965,25.035 C564.297,23.368 562.623,22.342 560.652,21.575 C558.743,20.834 556.562,20.326 553.369,20.18 C550.169,20.033 549.148,20 541,20 C532.853,20 531.831,20.033 528.631,20.18 C525.438,20.326 523.257,20.834 521.349,21.575 C519.376,22.342 517.703,23.368 516.035,25.035 C514.368,26.702 513.342,28.377 512.574,30.349 C511.834,32.258 511.326,34.438 511.181,37.631 C511.035,40.831 511,41.851 511,50 C511,58.147 511.035,59.17 511.181,62.369 C511.326,65.562 511.834,67.743 512.574,69.651 C513.342,71.625 514.368,73.296 516.035,74.965 C517.703,76.634 519.376,77.658 521.349,78.425 C523.257,79.167 525.438,79.673 528.631,79.82 C531.831,79.965 532.853,80.001 541,80.001 C549.148,80.001 550.169,79.965 553.369,79.82 C556.562,79.673 558.743,79.167 560.652,78.425 C562.623,77.658 564.297,76.634 565.965,74.965 C567.633,73.296 568.659,71.625 569.425,69.651 C570.167,67.743 570.674,65.562 570.82,62.369 C570.966,59.17 571,58.147 571,50 C571,41.851 570.966,40.831 570.82,37.631\"><\/path><\/g><\/g><\/g><\/svg><\/div><div style=\"padding-top: 8px;\"> <div style=\" color:#3897f0; font-family:Arial,sans-serif; font-size:14px; font-style:normal; font-weight:550; line-height:18px;\">View this post on Instagram<\/div><\/div><div style=\"padding: 12.5% 0;\"><\/div> <div style=\"display: flex; flex-direction: row; margin-bottom: 14px; align-items: center;\"><div> <div style=\"background-color: #F4F4F4; border-radius: 50%; height: 12.5px; width: 12.5px; transform: translateX(0px) translateY(7px);\"><\/div> <div style=\"background-color: #F4F4F4; height: 12.5px; transform: rotate(-45deg) translateX(3px) translateY(1px); width: 12.5px; flex-grow: 0; margin-right: 14px; margin-left: 2px;\"><\/div> <div style=\"background-color: #F4F4F4; border-radius: 50%; height: 12.5px; width: 12.5px; transform: translateX(9px) translateY(-18px);\"><\/div><\/div><div style=\"margin-left: 8px;\"> <div style=\" background-color: #F4F4F4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 20px; width: 20px;\"><\/div> <div style=\" width: 0; height: 0; border-top: 2px solid transparent; border-left: 6px solid #f4f4f4; border-bottom: 2px solid transparent; transform: translateX(16px) translateY(-4px) rotate(30deg)\"><\/div><\/div><div style=\"margin-left: auto;\"> <div style=\" width: 0px; border-top: 8px solid #F4F4F4; border-right: 8px solid transparent; transform: translateY(16px);\"><\/div> <div style=\" background-color: #F4F4F4; flex-grow: 0; height: 12px; width: 16px; transform: translateY(-4px);\"><\/div> <div style=\" width: 0; height: 0; border-top: 8px solid #F4F4F4; border-left: 8px solid transparent; transform: translateY(-4px) translateX(8px);\"><\/div><\/div><\/div> <div style=\"display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center; margin-bottom: 24px;\"> <div style=\" background-color: #F4F4F4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 224px;\"><\/div> <div style=\" background-color: #F4F4F4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 144px;\"><\/div><\/div><\/a><p style=\" color:#c9c8cd; font-family:Arial,sans-serif; font-size:14px; line-height:17px; margin-bottom:0; margin-top:8px; overflow:hidden; padding:8px 0 7px; text-align:center; text-overflow:ellipsis; white-space:nowrap;\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.instagram.com\/p\/CR3H4O8rmNo\/?utm_source=ig_embed&amp;utm_campaign=loading\" style=\" color:#c9c8cd; font-family:Arial,sans-serif; font-size:14px; font-style:normal; font-weight:normal; line-height:17px; text-decoration:none;\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">A post shared by Ajit Nawalkha (@realcoachajit)<\/a><\/p><\/div><\/blockquote> <script async=\"\" src=\"\/\/www.instagram.com\/embed.js\"><\/script>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-connect-with-your-greatness\">Connect With Your Greatness<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Being an FBI behavioral expert and master spy hunter may not be your calling (or maybe it is!), but being able to effortlessly and confidently connect with people is an indispensable skill to have.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">The soul needs human connection, like the body needs water. So if you want to learn how to build rapport and trust with anyone, you can start with one of the <a href=\"https:\/\/www.mindvalley.com\/certs\/?utm_source=blog_inline_link&amp;utm_campaign=evergreen_certs&amp;utm_medium=end_of_article&amp;otag=mv_blog_certs\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\"><strong>Mindvalley Coaching Certification<\/strong><\/a> programs:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li><strong>Certified Life Coach. <\/strong>You\u2019ll discover the powerful art of goal setting and goal getting, know how to rapidly trigger motivation and inspiration, create a conscious and positive influence in all relationships, and more.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li><strong>Certified Business Coach. <\/strong>You\u2019ll be able to enhance team performance, help businesses grow ten times faster, attract and land high-level clients, and more.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li><strong>Certified Holobody Coach. <\/strong>You\u2019ll gain powerful mind-body practices, be able to create personalized nutrition game plans, harness science-based protocols to accelerate healing and recovery in the body, and more.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">As William Shakespeare said, \u201c<em>Be not afraid of greatness. Some are born great, some achieve greatness, and others have greatness thrust upon them.<\/em>\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">And as you start to truly connect with your authentic self, you awaken to your greatness. Welcome in.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<hr class=\"wp-block-separator has-alpha-channel-opacity\"\/>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Image sources: <a href=\"https:\/\/www.instagram.com\/rdreeke\/?hl=en\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">@rdreeke<\/a>, <a href=\"https:\/\/www.instagram.com\/realcoachajit\/?hl=en\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">@realcoachajit<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Human connection plays a major role for a purposeful life. With tips from a former FBI spy recruiter, here\u2019s how to build rapport and trust with anyone.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":9,"featured_media":65349,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"om_disable_all_campaigns":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[2945],"tags":[2499],"series":[],"area-of-growth":[],"outcome":[3480],"featured":[],"coauthors":[329],"class_list":["post-65269","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-coaching","tag-certified-life-coach","outcome-authenticity"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO Premium plugin v27.6 (Yoast SEO v27.6) - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-premium-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>How to Build Rapport Like an FBI Spy Recruiter<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Human connection plays a major role for a purposeful life. With tips from a former FBI spy recruiter, here\u2019s how to build rapport and trust with anyone.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.mindvalley.com\/blog\/how-to-build-rapport\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"How to Build Rapport Like an FBI Spy Recruiter\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Human connection plays a major role for a purposeful life. 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