The problem with emotions is that it\u2019s often a rollercoaster. At times, it can be a world turned, if not upside down, if not lying on its side. And no matter how hard we try, none of us are immune to it. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
So what can serve as our metaphorical yaysayer, hyping us up and reminding us of how awesome we truly are? Why, emotional agility, of course.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
It\u2019s one thing to be nimble physically. However, when you can master it emotionally, it\u2019s like sitting at the front of the rollercoaster with your arms up and screaming, \u201cWhee!<\/em>\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n It\u2019s like the question Susan David<\/strong>, an award-winning Harvard Medical School psychologist, poses in her book, Emotional Agility: Get Unstuck, Embrace Change, and Thrive in Work and Life<\/em>: \u201cWho\u2019s in charge \u2014 the thinker or the thought?<\/em>\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n And as long as you\u2019re willing to work with<\/em> it instead of against<\/em> it, there\u2019s a lot your emotions can teach you about yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Looking at the phrase closely, the word \u201cagility\u201d means to think and understand quickly. Now, throw \u201cemotional\u201d in there, and it\u2019s all about being promptly aware of your emotions<\/a> as they come up to say \u201chi,\u201d accepting them as they are and learning from them.<\/p>\n\n\n\n We have thousands of thoughts and feelings every day. And what emotional agility helps us with is essentially having the ability to be with our thoughts and feelings.<\/strong> <\/p>\n\n\n\n Unfortunately, many of us are taught that difficult thoughts and feelings have no place in the real world. \u201cStop crying<\/em>,\u201d \u201cYou\u2019re overreacting<\/em>,\u201d or even \u201cGo to your room until you can learn to calm down<\/em>.\u201d So we learn to ignore, suppress, or repress.<\/p>\n\n\n\n This goes against basic biology, according to Susan in a Harvard Business Review article<\/a>. She explains, \u201cAll healthy human beings have an inner stream of thoughts and feelings that include criticism, doubt, and fear. That\u2019s just our minds doing the job they were designed to do: trying to anticipate and solve problems and avoid potential pitfalls.<\/em>\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n While they both stem from emotional intelligence<\/a>, there are differences between emotional agility and emotional regulation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n While regulating your thoughts and feelings can be beneficial in some situations, emotional agility allows you to give your emotions the respect and consideration it deserves.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\nWhat is emotional agility?<\/h2>\n\n\n\n
Is it the same as emotional regulation?<\/h3>\n\n\n\n
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For example, if your spouse left a mess in the kitchen, you may feel the urge to stomp over and give them a piece of your mind. Emotional agility, however, teaches you to take a step back, assess your feelings and thoughts, and instead devise a solution that doesn\u2019t end up in a lovers\u2019 quarrel. <\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n\n
Going back to the spouse example. You might regulate the emotion by distracting yourself. Maybe you go for a run, take a cold shower, or grab your keys and head out the door for some wine o\u2019clock with your friends.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n