{"id":73531,"date":"2024-08-05T09:23:38","date_gmt":"2024-08-05T01:23:38","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/blog.mindvalley.com\/?p=73531"},"modified":"2025-08-11T14:28:07","modified_gmt":"2025-08-11T13:28:07","slug":"chelsey-goodan","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.mindvalley.com\/blog\/chelsey-goodan\/","title":{"rendered":"Chelsey Goodan on why teenage girls are &#8220;Underestimated&#8221; and why they shouldn&#8217;t be"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">\u201c<em>You just don\u2019t understand<\/em>.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">It\u2019s the response I often get from my teenage stepdaughter. And it\u2019s often followed by an \u201c<em>ugh<\/em>,\u201d an eye roll, or a curt turn and stomp off to her room.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Every mother figure knows this scene all too well. The dynamics with their teenage daughter can go every which way\u2014loving to exasperating to affectionate, and then back to infuriating.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Chances are, the behavior is chalked up to being dramatic. Or mean. Or\u2014my personal favorite\u2014hormotional.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">\u201c<em>A lot of people think of teenage girls as, you know, they have icy walls and boundaries up and, you know, they shut you out<\/em>,\u201d <strong>Chelsey Goodan<\/strong>, an academic tutor and mentor, tells Kristina M\u00e4nd-Lakhiani, the co-founder of Mindvalley, in a sit-down on the Mindvalley Book Club.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">The reality, as she points out in her book, <em>Underestimated: The Wisdom and Power of Teenage Girls<\/em>, is that teenage girls are so much more than what we, as a society, give them credit for. Their \u201cdrama,\u201d \u201cmeanness,\u201d and \u201ccrazy outbursts\u201d are the culmination of being quieted for far too long.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">So if you, too, have a daughter whom you wish you could better connect with, Chelsey might just have the solution.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><strong>Watch the full interview:<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-embed aligncenter is-type-video is-provider-youtube wp-block-embed-youtube wp-embed-aspect-16-9 wp-has-aspect-ratio\"><div class=\"wp-block-embed__wrapper\">\n<iframe title=\"Mindvalley Book of the Week: Chelsey Goodan\u2019s Underestimated\" width=\"800\" height=\"450\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/IJOsQugvH8E?feature=oembed\" frameborder=\"0\" allow=\"accelerometer; autoplay; clipboard-write; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture; web-share\" referrerpolicy=\"strict-origin-when-cross-origin\" allowfullscreen><\/iframe>\n<\/div><figcaption class=\"wp-element-caption\">Mindvalley Book of the Week: Chelsey Goodan\u2019s Underestimated<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-there-s-a-reason-teenage-girls-are-so-angsty\">There\u2019s a reason teenage girls are so angsty\u2026<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Eye rolls, high-pitched squeals, \u201c<em>whatevs<\/em>,\u201d giggly, sassy, posting selfies\u2014that\u2019s what teenage girls are made up of.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Or so we all seem to think.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">In writing the book, Chelsey found one common theme the gaggle of adolescent girls wished that adults understood about them. And that\u2019s this: \u201c<em>We\u2019re a lot smarter than you think we are<\/em>.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<blockquote class=\"wp-block-quote is-layout-flow wp-block-quote-is-layout-flow\">\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Parents feel like it\u2019s their duty to keep girls grounded because NO ONE likes a bossy girl. They\u2019re worried we\u2019ll get an ego. We\u2019re supposed to be humble, giving, and polite all the time.<\/p>\n<cite>\u2014 Juliette, 14, <em>Underestimated: The Wisdom and Power of Teenage Girls<\/em><\/cite><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Look at any teen movie\u2014<em>Mean Girls<\/em>, <em>Easy A<\/em>, <em>Clueless<\/em>, <em>To All the Boys I\u2019ve Loved Before<\/em>, <em>Never Have I Ever<\/em>, and endless more\u2014and they\u2019re typically portrayed as the helpless, ditzy character with some sort of <a href=\"https:\/\/blog.mindvalley.com\/mother-wound\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">mother wound<\/a>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">The moral of these stories is that they\u2019re <em>always<\/em> underestimated by their parents, by their peers, by their community&#8230; And in the end, they always come out on top.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-things-we-re-doing-that-underestimate-teenage-girls\">Things we\u2019re doing that underestimate teenage girls<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">If this is the case, then why, oh, why are teenage girls mean? Why are they always so \u201c<em>Woe is me!<\/em>\u201d? Why do they have so much angst?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Chelsey has a simple explanation: The world fears teenage girls. And she draws from these examples:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li>Expectant parents who are relieved they have a boy so they don\u2019t have to go through the \u201c<em>terror and emotional lawlessness of a teenage girl<\/em>.\u201d<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Mothers who fought with their mothers and are now afraid of karma.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Fathers who worry about their little girl joining the dating pool.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Schools implementing modesty rules.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Adults judging social media posts and labeling them as \u201cshallow,\u201d \u201ctoo sexy,\u201d and \u201cirresponsible.\u201d<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">So much social pressure. On top of that, trying to find out who they are and experiencing changes to their bodies IRL.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">\u201c<em>If you think about it<\/em>,\u201d says Chelsey, \u201c<em>when someone\u2019s having a baby girl or a baby boy, the person who has the baby girl, everyone\u2019s like, \u2018Oh, just wait for it. You\u2019re in for it. When she becomes a teenager\u2026\u2019 Like, as if it\u2019s this horrible thing that\u2019s going to happen<\/em>.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Let\u2019s face it, that\u2019s <em>NOT<\/em> positive. It\u2019s definitely <em>NOT<\/em> empowering.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Before the baby girl is even out of the womb, her teenage years and beyond have been predestined as \u201c<em>Oh, just wait for it\u2026<\/em>\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">It\u2019s no wonder teenage girls feel frustrated, misunderstood, and angsty. So much so that a <a href=\"https:\/\/www.cdc.gov\/healthyyouth\/data\/yrbs\/pdf\/YRBS_Data-Summary-Trends_Report2023_508.pdf\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">2021 survey<\/a> by the CDC found that 57% of the teenage girls who participated reported feeling \u201cpersistently sad or hopeless\u201d\u2014not a great state for their mental well-being.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">And the reality is, anyone put in the same position would likely react the same.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-but-how-according-to-chelsey-goodan-do-they-have-wisdom-and-power\">\u2026But how, according to Chelsey Goodan, do they have wisdom and power?<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">\u201c<em>Society has been so busy dismissing girls as \u2018dramatic\u2019 that we\u2019ve missed the wisdom they can offer us<\/em>,\u201d Chelsey explains. But what does that entail?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">As she highlights in her book, it\u2019s a vast array of things, including:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li>The emotional insight and empathy to connect deeply with others.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>A strong desire to be true to themselves.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>The willingness to speak up about issues they care about\u2014just look at Malala Yousafzai and Greta Thunberg.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>The ability to adapt and learn from experiences.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>The support they show one another to achieve common goals.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<blockquote class=\"wp-block-quote is-layout-flow wp-block-quote-is-layout-flow\">\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Teenage girls are incredibly deep thinking and deep feeling. But we\u2019re socialized to be judged. Society beats out of us our strong sense of self-expression.<\/p>\n<cite>\u2014 Harper, 18, <em>Underestimated: The Wisdom and Power of Teenage Girls<\/em><\/cite><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">While we often view adolescent girls as capricious and featherbrained, <a href=\"https:\/\/www.sciencedaily.com\/releases\/2012\/08\/120803153121.htm\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">science<\/a> has found that they mature intellectually before they do socially or emotionally.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">According to Laurence Steinberg, Ph.D., an expert in adolescent developmental psychology, this helps \u201c<em>explain why teenagers who are so smart in some respects sometimes do surprisingly dumb things<\/em>.\u201d (Not that we\u2019re calling them \u201cdumb,\u201d of course.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-society-s-struggle\">Society\u2019s struggle<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">It\u2019s difficult to not be confounded by adolescent behaviors. Even getting through to my stepdaughter, where she listens and respects my authority, is a daily challenge.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">That\u2019s the problem, though, isn\u2019t it? \u201cAuthority.\u201d But it\u2019s what I know. It\u2019s how I was raised. It\u2019s what society has taught me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Chelsey points out that, generation in and generation out, we \u201c<em>squash the liberated, fierce, passionate spirit right out of that bright, smiling, limitless face, until she\u2019s consumed by \u2018perfection\u2019 and pleasing others<\/em>.\u201d And it\u2019s all under the guise of <a href=\"https:\/\/blog.mindvalley.com\/raise-confident-kids\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">raising confident kids<\/a>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">One teen featured in her book puts it frankly: \u201c<em>Parents feel like it\u2019s their duty to keep girls grounded because NO ONE likes a bossy girl. They\u2019re worried we\u2019ll get an ego. We\u2019re supposed to be humble, giving, and polite all the time<\/em>.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">As an alumni of the Teenage Girls Club myself, this is <em>all relatable<\/em>. However, squashing the moxie of this group is so ingrained in our psyche, it\u2019s no wonder we don\u2019t know how to deal with teenage girls.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Fortunately, thanks to people like Chelsey, it\u2019s time that changes.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<blockquote class=\"instagram-media\" data-instgrm-permalink=\"https:\/\/www.instagram.com\/p\/C6ukWGlpVx7\/?utm_source=ig_embed&amp;utm_campaign=loading\" data-instgrm-version=\"14\" style=\" background:#FFF; border:0; border-radius:3px; box-shadow:0 0 1px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.5),0 1px 10px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.15); margin: 1px; min-width:326px; padding:0; width:99.375%; width:-webkit-calc(100% - 2px); width:calc(100% - 2px);\"><div style=\"padding:16px;\"> <a href=\"https:\/\/www.instagram.com\/p\/C6ukWGlpVx7\/?utm_source=ig_embed&amp;utm_campaign=loading\" style=\" background:#FFFFFF; line-height:0; padding:0 0; text-align:center; text-decoration:none; width:100%;\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\"> <div style=\" display: flex; 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font-family:Arial,sans-serif; font-size:14px; font-style:normal; font-weight:550; line-height:18px;\">View this post on Instagram<\/div><\/div><div style=\"padding: 12.5% 0;\"><\/div> <div style=\"display: flex; flex-direction: row; margin-bottom: 14px; align-items: center;\"><div> <div style=\"background-color: #F4F4F4; border-radius: 50%; height: 12.5px; width: 12.5px; transform: translateX(0px) translateY(7px);\"><\/div> <div style=\"background-color: #F4F4F4; height: 12.5px; transform: rotate(-45deg) translateX(3px) translateY(1px); width: 12.5px; flex-grow: 0; margin-right: 14px; margin-left: 2px;\"><\/div> <div style=\"background-color: #F4F4F4; border-radius: 50%; height: 12.5px; width: 12.5px; transform: translateX(9px) translateY(-18px);\"><\/div><\/div><div style=\"margin-left: 8px;\"> <div style=\" background-color: #F4F4F4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 20px; width: 20px;\"><\/div> <div style=\" width: 0; height: 0; border-top: 2px solid transparent; border-left: 6px solid #f4f4f4; border-bottom: 2px solid transparent; transform: translateX(16px) translateY(-4px) rotate(30deg)\"><\/div><\/div><div style=\"margin-left: auto;\"> <div style=\" width: 0px; border-top: 8px solid #F4F4F4; border-right: 8px solid transparent; transform: translateY(16px);\"><\/div> <div style=\" background-color: #F4F4F4; flex-grow: 0; height: 12px; width: 16px; transform: translateY(-4px);\"><\/div> <div style=\" width: 0; height: 0; border-top: 8px solid #F4F4F4; border-left: 8px solid transparent; transform: translateY(-4px) translateX(8px);\"><\/div><\/div><\/div> <div style=\"display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center; margin-bottom: 24px;\"> <div style=\" background-color: #F4F4F4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 224px;\"><\/div> <div style=\" background-color: #F4F4F4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 144px;\"><\/div><\/div><\/a><p style=\" color:#c9c8cd; font-family:Arial,sans-serif; font-size:14px; line-height:17px; margin-bottom:0; margin-top:8px; overflow:hidden; padding:8px 0 7px; text-align:center; text-overflow:ellipsis; white-space:nowrap;\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.instagram.com\/p\/C6ukWGlpVx7\/?utm_source=ig_embed&amp;utm_campaign=loading\" style=\" color:#c9c8cd; font-family:Arial,sans-serif; font-size:14px; font-style:normal; font-weight:normal; line-height:17px; text-decoration:none;\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">A post shared by Chelsey Goodan | Author | Speaker (@chelseygoodan)<\/a><\/p><\/div><\/blockquote>\n<script async src=\"\/\/www.instagram.com\/embed.js\"><\/script>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-chelsey-goodan-s-tips-to-empower-teenage-girls\">Chelsey Goodan\u2019s tips to empower teenage girls<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">\u201c<em>Teenage girls are incredibly deep thinking and deep feeling<\/em>,\u201d explains one teen in the book. \u201c<em>But we\u2019re socialized to be judged. Society beats out of us our strong sense of self-expression<\/em>.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">As a parent, this can be heartbreaking. Being a spectator to this nonsense and yet not being able to do anything about it. Also, being part of the problem.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">So what can we do to empower instead of undermine them? Granted, her book goes more in-depth, but here are a few of the main tips Chelsey shares in her interview with Kristina.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-1-hold-space-for-them\">1. Hold space for them<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">It seems like behind every teenage girl is a parent dealing with some kind of <a href=\"https:\/\/blog.mindvalley.com\/conflict-management\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">conflict management<\/a>. And many a time, the response is eyes glazing over in darkness with a \u201c<em>never mind<\/em>\u201d or &#8220;whatever\u201d at the decibel that only causes irritation for both parties.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Chelsey explains that, oftentimes, girls at this age just want to feel heard. But what they\u2019re getting instead is unsolicited advice, invalidating emotions, and gaslighting.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">So she advises to \u201c<em>allow some space<\/em>\u201d\u2014or \u201cholding space\u201d as she calls it\u2014\u201c<em>for a teenage girl [to] have big feelings and sometimes be mad and angry and frustrated<\/em>.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">The key is attentive listening, which, as <a href=\"https:\/\/www.sciencedaily.com\/releases\/2021\/06\/210604122722.htm\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">research<\/a> shows, helps teens open up. Eye contact, nodding, and using key words to praise openness\u2014all these listening techniques can do wonders.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-2-trust-them\">2. Trust them<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">\u201c<em>I found the more trust you give girls and say it out loud, like, \u2018I am choosing to trust you right now,\u2019 girls rise to the occasion and want to deliver on that<\/em>,\u201d says Chelsey.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">The reality is, a lot of mistrust and overprotectedness are rooted in <a href=\"https:\/\/blog.mindvalley.com\/trauma-bond\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">trauma<\/a>. And as a parent, you may project your own fear and past experiences onto your daughter.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">What happens then? A cycle of control and resistance. It can also hinder her ability to make her own decisions and learn from her experiences.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Trust doesn\u2019t only mean saying it verbally and meaning it. It also means reflecting on your own experiences and working through any fears that may interfere with your teen\u2019s growth.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">\u201c<em>When you tell your kid that you trust them, even if they make a mistake, that they can get through it, that they can<\/em>,\u201d Chelsey adds, \u201c<em>then they start trusting themselves<\/em>.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-3-help-redefine-power\">3. Help redefine \u201cpower\u201d<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">The narrative of this trait has long been linked to domination, oppression, violence, self-interest, wealth, status, and so on. Never has it been associated with empathy, care, generosity, and love.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">But what if, as Chelsey points out, the latter traits were considered \u201c<em>the most powerful force on the planet<\/em>\u201d? \u201c<em>What if we actually thought of that as powerful?<\/em>\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Imagine it: \u201c<em>You gave so much care and empathy; how powerful of you!<\/em>\u201d Or, \u201c<em>I\u2019m powerful because I\u2019m empathic<\/em>.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">These types of positive reinforcement can help lead to better self-esteem and feelings of self-worth, as found in a <a href=\"https:\/\/brightspotcdn.byu.edu\/de\/3d\/c122c5304b2a9a11a569285f6cae\/walkerflourishing-final06-16-16.pdf\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">10-year study<\/a> by Birmingham Young University.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Adding on to that, Chelsey explains that redefining the perception of \u201cpower\u201d can have a ripple effect. It\u2019s one she hopes will shift to where there\u2019s more empathy, care, generosity, and love, not only towards teenage girls but to the world as a whole.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image aligncenter size-full\"><a href=\"https:\/\/amzn.to\/41a5bTM\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\" noreferrer noopener\"><img fetchpriority=\"high\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"2001\" height=\"736\" src=\"https:\/\/storage.googleapis.com\/mv-prod-blog-en-assets\/2025\/08\/024ead8a-chelsey-goodan.webp\" alt=\"Chelsey Goodan's Underestimated\" class=\"wp-image-78139\" srcset=\"https:\/\/storage.googleapis.com\/mv-prod-blog-en-assets\/2025\/08\/024ead8a-chelsey-goodan.webp 2001w, https:\/\/storage.googleapis.com\/mv-prod-blog-en-assets\/2025\/08\/024ead8a-chelsey-goodan-768x282.webp 768w, https:\/\/storage.googleapis.com\/mv-prod-blog-en-assets\/2025\/08\/024ead8a-chelsey-goodan-1536x565.webp 1536w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 2001px) 100vw, 2001px\" \/><\/a><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-small-font-size wp-block-paragraph\">(<em>Disclosure: This contains an affiliate link. If you make a purchase through it, the Mindvalley Book Club may earn a commission at no extra cost to you.<\/em>)<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-fuel-your-mind\">Fuel your mind<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">For sure, <em>Underestimated<\/em> by Chelsey Gooden is a voice for the adolescent female force so their liberated, fierce, passionate spirit can shine. But if you\u2019re not part of that group, there are plenty of other books that may do the same for you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">You can find one you resonate with at the Mindvalley Book Club with Kristina M\u00e4nd-Lakhiani. Each month, she handpicks inspiring transformational books that may possibly be the key to your next big breakthrough.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">What\u2019s more, she sits down with the authors to discuss engaging topics like authenticity, self-awareness, self-love, and many more that are so incredibly important in making this world a better place to live.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">If you want in on the next big hit,<strong> <a href=\"https:\/\/www.mindvalley.com\/bookclub?utm_source=mv_blog\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">join the club<\/a><\/strong> and welcome in.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Teenage girls are known to be&#8230;a lot. But Chelsey Goodan believes they\u2019re just misunderstood and underestimated. 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