\u201cIn the middle of difficulty lies opportunity,<\/em>\u201d as Albert Einstein once said. And that opportunity when there\u2019s conflict is knowing how to manage it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Conflict happens when there\u2019s a serious argument or disagreement between two sides, be it people or ideas. And conflict management is the ability to identify and navigate that disagreement in an efficient, effective, and fair way.<\/p>\n\n\n\n It\u2019s a buzzword that\u2019s often heard in a business context, but not limited to it. It can also be used in personal situations, like a couple, a parent and their child, or friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n In fact, studies show that unresolved conflict can seriously impact one\u2019s health. One research paper<\/a> reported that they\u2019re known to cause \u201chigher levels of stress, behavioral problems in children, and may lead to mental health problems such as depression and anxiety.<\/em>\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n The thing is, we all have our own specific wants, needs, ideas, and opinions that we project onto others. At times, they mesh well with the people around us. Other times, they don\u2019t\u2026and that\u2019s where tensions may arise.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Someone who understands the mechanics of it can navigate arguments and disagreements among others with competence and care. Everyone has their own approach to conflict management, and identifying yours may help you become a better mediator.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Other than having a common word in their name, conflict management is not<\/em> conflict resolution. Here\u2019s where they differ:<\/p>\n\n\n\n Here\u2019s the thing: not all forms of conflict are bad. In fact, some are quite beneficial.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Why? Simply, it allows people to understand another person’s wants and needs better. It\u2019s an opportunity for growth, expansion, and improvement.<\/p>\n\n\n\n There are five different styles of conflict management, according to the Thomas-Kilmann Conflict Mode Instrument<\/a>:<\/p>\n\n\n\n People who are interested in preserving peace and maintaining the most harmonious circumstances possible, especially when it comes to calming an angry person<\/a>, often adopt an accommodating conflict management style. <\/p>\n\n\n\n This method involves a high degree of cooperation, although it often comes at the expense of the mediator. They are willing to sacrifice their own preferences and needs for the concerns of others.<\/p>\n\n\n\n The avoidance conflict management style is exactly what it sounds like \u2014 when the person should or could resolve a conflict (like a manager or parent) simply ignores that the dispute is underway.<\/p>\n\n\n\n This strategy can be effective when the conflict is exceedingly trivial, and to pursue a solution would ultimately be time-consuming and wasteful. However, it is important to be aware that this strategy can backfire fairly quickly on the arbitrator.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Conflicts are best managed when addressed quickly and competently.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Compromising is a conflict management style that seeks to give both parties part of what they want. When a solution for confrontation simply can\u2019t be found, then a compromising strategy may work best.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Some identify this style as a \u201close-lose\u201d approach, but if both parties can walk away satisfied that at least some of their needs have been met, the solution is not fruitless.<\/p>\n\n\n\n A compromise shouldn\u2019t be the first approach in managing conflict, but it may be an effective last resort to help diffuse tension. This is the classic \u201cagree to disagree\u201d arrangement.<\/p>\n\n\n\n The competing conflict management style is an aggressive, action-driven approach that provides one party with what they want while the other party does not get what they want.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Often called the \u201cwin-lose\u201d approach, this style results in one party meeting their wants and needs while the other does not. This strategy is not very cooperative. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Unfortunately, it is nurtured in many of us from an early age: the idea that we must compete and beat others to get what we want.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Solutions can be found outside the realm of competition. This strategy may seem effective in the short term but can foster animosity, bitterness, and further aggression down the line.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Using a collaborative conflict management style, the mediator seeks to find a solution that entirely satisfies both parties.<\/p>\n\n\n\n This is a step up from compromisation and involves a level of emotional intelligence<\/a>. Exploring alternative ideas, solutions, and discussions can bolster and encourage empathy, honesty, and compassion for all those involved.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Often called the \u201cwin-win\u201d strategy, if used effectively, this can be a powerful and practical problem-solving style.<\/p>\n\n\n\n People naturally gravitate toward different styles depending on their personalities.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Perhaps conflict makes you uncomfortable, and you\u2019d prefer to avoid it. Or maybe conflict instigates a competitive streak in you, and once involved, you want to conquer your adversaries at all costs.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Here are some common conflict management examples to demonstrate the different styles:<\/p>\n\n\n\n It\u2019s up to you to decide which conflict management style best suits your preferences. It\u2019s good to play to your strengths, but it\u2019s also beneficial to opt for approaches you wouldn\u2019t usually select.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Keep in mind that different forms of conflict will call for different methods. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Where in one situation, only a compromise can be effectively met, in another, you may find that a collaborative approach is most beneficial.<\/p>\n\n\n\n As studies have shown, time and time again, unresolved conflict comes at a huge cost. As mentioned, it can have a negative impact on one\u2019s well-being. And when it comes to business, it can lead to a financial strain \u2014 for example, a CPP study<\/a> found that workplace conflict costs $359 billion in paid hours, meaning that 2.8 hours per week is wasted on disputes.<\/p>\n\n\n\n So developing conflict management skills can do wonders for your relationships, whether personal or business. Here are five strategies you can try with tips from Mindvalley trainers.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Let\u2019s say you\u2019re pitching an important deck for a big account. Your client sits with their arms folded, yawning uncontrollably, and keeps looking down at their lap throughout the whole thing. You read their body language<\/a> to be distant and uninterested. And you call them out on it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Little did you know that your client had a long night because they\u2019re a new parent and their baby had been up all night crying. And because they were so tired, they ran out the door without their morning cup of coffee and a sweater. So they showed up at your meeting exhausted, sleepy, and cold (since your office is notoriously known to crank its air conditioner). <\/p>\n\n\n\n So what do you do now? \u201cIf you created the conflict, take accountability,<\/em>\u201d advises Radha Agrawal<\/strong>, CEO and co-founder of Daybreaker and trainer of Mindvalley\u2019s Build Your Dream Community<\/em> Quest. It\u2019s a great way to regain trust and build rapport with the other person.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cCare-frontation\u201d \u2014 it\u2019s what Lisa Nichols<\/strong>, founder of Motivating the Masses and trainer of Minvalley\u2019s Speak and Inspire<\/em> Quest, suggests to use to deal with confrontation<\/a>. She defines it as \u201cthe intention of completing the conversation with the relationship still intact.<\/em>\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n It allows you to honor and respect the person you\u2019re speaking to, be it your spouse, children, family members, friends, strangers on the streets, and so on. Additionally, it allows you to request that your (or their) needs be addressed and approach the conflict with compassion and kindness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Care-frontation dismantles the \u201cI\u2019m right, you\u2019re wrong\u201d mindset and, instead, encourages you to use your communication skills to empower connection.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Relationships have their messy moments and when things get heated, it\u2019s always a good idea to find a way to manage. Enter the STAR pact method, created by Donna Eden and David Feinstein<\/strong>, renowned energy healers and trainers of Mindvalley\u2019s The Energies of Love<\/em> Quest, to \u201cdeal with situations where our disagreements were so intense that we could make no progress in resolving the issue at hand.<\/em>\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n The STAR pact goes like this:<\/p>\n\n\n\nWhat Is Conflict Management?<\/h2>\n\n\n\n
Conflict management vs. conflict resolution<\/h3>\n\n\n\n
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![\"Coworkers](\"https:\/\/storage.googleapis.com\/mv-prod-blog-en-assets\/2022\/12\/6a7fe521-conflict-management-pexels-mikhail-nilov-7582626.jpg\")
<\/figure>\n\n\n\n5 Conflict Management Styles<\/h2>\n\n\n\n
1. Accommodating<\/h3>\n\n\n\n
2. Avoiding<\/h3>\n\n\n\n
3. Compromising<\/h3>\n\n\n\n
4. Competing<\/h3>\n\n\n\n
5. Collaborating<\/h3>\n\n\n\n
![\"Young](\"https:\/\/storage.googleapis.com\/mv-prod-blog-en-assets\/2017\/12\/ebaaf183-conflict-management-pexels-allan-mas-5368942.jpg\")
<\/figure>\n\n\n\nWhich Conflict Management Style Is Right for You?<\/h2>\n\n\n\n
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![\"Showing](\"https:\/\/storage.googleapis.com\/mv-prod-blog-en-assets\/2022\/12\/d52f8ca8-conflict-management-pexels-shvets-production-7176325.jpg\")
<\/figure>\n\n\n\nConflict Management Strategies: 5 Tips From Mindvalley Trainers<\/h2>\n\n\n\n
1. Be accountable for your actions<\/h3>\n\n\n\n
2. Adopt a care-frontation approach<\/h3>\n\n\n\n
3. Use the STAR pact method<\/h3>\n\n\n\n