{"id":11846,"date":"2018-08-11T03:00:00","date_gmt":"2018-08-11T11:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.mindvalley.com\/?p=11846"},"modified":"2025-07-22T07:31:28","modified_gmt":"2025-07-22T12:31:28","slug":"how-to-coach-clients-who-are-more-successful-intelligent-wealthy-than-you","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.mindvalley.com\/coach\/blog\/how-to-coach-clients-who-are-more-successful-intelligent-wealthy-than-you\/","title":{"rendered":"How to coach clients who are more successful than you"},"content":{"rendered":"

Do you ever get afraid of losing a potential client? Do you ever get afraid of being embarrassed in front of a client? Do you ever feel inferior? How to coach successful clients?<\/p>\n

Do you ever think\u00a0\u201cI couldn\u2019t coach \u2018that\u2019 person\u201d<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

According to Patrick Lencioni in his wonderful book, Getting Naked, there are three fears that sabotage the creation of great clients.<\/p>\n

Immersed in these fears, coaches censor their feedback. And to avoid difficult issues, they hold back their ideas, hide their mistakes and edit themselves to save face. They\u2019re trying to look good in front of their client at all costs.<\/p>\n

They do this because of a fundamental misunderstanding that clients don\u2019t want to be challenged or face their fears. They do this because they\u2019ve fallen into the myth of the \u2018expert\u2019\u2014so they want to appear to be one. And they do this because they are afraid to step into their power as a leader.<\/p>\n

1. Success<\/h2>\n

What most people don\u2019t realize about success is that\u00a0the biggest challenge success brings is success itself<\/strong>.<\/p>\n

You see, everything that got you to the level of success you\u2019re at today is precisely what will hold you back from your \u2018next\u2019 level of success.<\/p>\n

Or as Marshall Goldsmith put it quite succinctly, what got you here won\u2019t get you there.<\/p>\n

Anyone who has worked in the corporate or start-up world is familiar with this concept. A great reporter becomes an editor, a great accountant becomes a manager, a Vice President becomes the CEO, a great teacher becomes a principal and you have a world of struggling leaders and managers.<\/p>\n

A start-up becomes successful and its biggest liability\u2014once it\u2019s biggest asset\u2014is often its founder. What it takes to lead a start-up is very different to running a thriving business or a business with investors and shareholders.<\/p>\n

Ever worked for a boss who was working beyond his or her ability level?<\/p>\n

There\u2019s a name for this concept. It\u2019s known as The Peter Principle\u2014you rise to your level of incompetence<\/strong>.<\/p>\n

The Peter Principle is cemented in, in most fields, where the easiest way\u2014often the only way\u2014to earn financial reward is by rising up the \u2018career ladder\u2019. It\u2019s rare that mastery of the skills that you love in the first place will lead to the same kind of financial success.<\/p>\n

So we live in a world where highly intelligent, creative and thoughtful people are far too often working beyond the level of their current abilities. A world where leaders are rarely trained to turn their intelligence, creativity and thought to mastering their \u2018next\u2019 level of success. A world where editors, managers, principals, CEOs and leaders are struggling to understand why doing MORE of what made them successful in the first place just isn\u2019t working.<\/p>\n

As Tracy Goss explains in The Last Word On Power: Re-Invention for Leaders and Anyone Who Must Make the Impossible Happen, it is the very power that brought you to your current position of success as a leader that is holding you back from achieving \u2018impossible\u2019 goals in your life and in your work.<\/p>\n

When you live life based on the power that has been the source of your success in the past, you hold yourself back from a more creative future.<\/p>\n

So, how to coach clients who are more successful than you?<\/strong><\/p>\n

You help them see the things they simply cannot see in their own world. You support them in a mission to build a new kind of power\u2014the power to consistently make the \u2018impossible\u2019 happen. You help them access the source of their new power by completely re-inventing themselves, again and again.<\/p>\n

It\u2019s the scariest thing in the world\u2014especially for highly successful people. You help them put at risk the success they\u2019ve BECOME to create the success they DESIRE, to create what looks impossible\u2014to them, but not to you.<\/p>\n

2. Intelligence<\/h2>\n

\u201cExperts are good at working on problems that require known skills<\/a>. But innovation requires that you make new mistakes, which is something that experts don\u2019t do. Also, experts supposedly have all the answers, but innovation requires that we ask new questions; experts don\u2019t do this.\u201d \u2013 Joe Calloway<\/p>\n

If intelligence was all it took to live an extraordinary life, create an extraordinary business or have an extraordinary relationship, high performers would have no need for a coach.\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n

Yet, the title of this book says it all: The Smartest Guys in the Room: The Amazing Rise and Scandalous Fall of Enron.<\/p>\n

Before its bankruptcy in 2001, Enron employed around 20,000 staff with claimed revenues of nearly $111 billion. It was named \u201cAmerica\u2019s Most Innovative Company\u201d for six consecutive years by Fortune magazine. But by the end of 2001, it was engulfed by the Enron scandal before it closed its doors forever.<\/p>\n

Lehman Brothers, Washington Mutual, Delta Air Lines were all billion dollar companies that went bankrupt. Arthur Andersen, formerly one of the \u201cBig Five\u201d accounting firms, ended business after being found guilty of criminal charges. The UK-based retail site\u00a0Boo.com<\/a>\u00a0spent $185 million before it shut down and was sold for less than $2 million, less than two years later. It is now hailed as one of the greatest dot-com busts in history.<\/p>\n

And Harvard Business School is now citing research that three-quarters of venture-backed firms in the U.S. don\u2019t return investors\u2019 capital. That\u2019s 3 out of 4 start-ups that received venture funding of at least $1 million, went on to fail.<\/p>\n

In his research into why smart people do stupid things, Rajesh Setty notes that smart people test boundaries by breaching them a little beyond normal limits. They then give repeated deviations a positive twist and start believing their own story.<\/p>\n

As he says, \u201cThe problem with repeated deviations is that they become \u201cnormal\u201d routine in your mind. The world notices the deviations but won\u2019t speak much and in your early stages of fast-growth career, these things won\u2019t matter much.<\/em>\u201d<\/p>\n

In How Will You Measure Your Life? by Clayton M. Christensen, he notes that we often employ the marginal cost doctrine in our personal lives when choosing between right and wrong:<\/p>\n

\u201cA voice in our head says, \u201cLook, I know that as a general rule, most people shouldn\u2019t do this. But in this particular extenuating circumstance, just this once, it\u2019s OK.\u201d<\/p>\n

The marginal cost of doing something wrong \u201cjust this once\u201d always seems alluringly low. It suckers you in, and you don\u2019t ever look at where that path ultimately is headed and at the full costs that the choice entails. Justification for infidelity and dishonesty in all their manifestations lies in the marginal cost economics of \u201cjust this once.\u201d<\/p>\n

The challenge that most businesses and leaders face is that they are biased to leverage what worked well in the past, instead of building the capabilities they will need in the future.<\/p>\n

Since the future is almost always different to what came before it, this is almost always the wrong thing to do.<\/p>\n

So, how to coach clients who are more intelligent than you?\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n

Explain that their very intelligence is their biggest challenge and demonstrate that your naivety is your biggest asset. You\u2019re a coach, not a consultant. You don\u2019t need to know more about their job or their industry than they do. And if they are a real high-performer, how could you?<\/p>\n

Instead, tell them that you are there to ask potentially dumb questions and make potentially dumb suggestions. You are there to support them\u2014not to look good.<\/p>\n

Demonstrate your vulnerability and take risks even before you begin coaching together.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Admit your weaknesses and celebrate your mistakes. And serve them as powerfully as if they were your highest paying client\u2014even before they\u2019ve paid you a single penny.<\/p>\n

Serve them so powerfully, that even if they never become a client, they\u2019ll never forget your conversations for the rest of their life.\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n

3. Wealth<\/h2>\n

Several years ago\u2014my coach at the time\u2014Michael Neill, invited me to join him at his seminar in Sweden called The Happy Millionaire.<\/p>\n

I met a woman who was a multi-millionaire. She told me that if she stopped working today and didn\u2019t change her lifestyle one iota, she could go for another 37 before she\u2019d have to earn more any money.<\/p>\n

Then why are you here? I asked rather incredulously (and naively).<\/p>\n

She told me that she\u2019s constantly worried about the money running out, someone stealing it from her, or how her investments are doing.<\/p>\n

Later that day, I asked a financial expert about her situation. And he told me that based on interest earned, alone, she\u2019d never need to work another day in her life.<\/p>\n

A few years later\u2014I\u2019ve now coached several millionaires and ultra-high net worth clients\u2014and it\u2019s clear to me that\u00a0you can never have enough of what you don\u2019t really need. \u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n

A client of mine with a twenty million dollar net worth once called me, full of frustration with her husband. He\u2019d been really upset with her when she paid for dinner for a group of their friends at an upscale restaurant in New York. And she couldn\u2019t understand it because the amount of money she\u2019d spent had been tiny compared to their wealth.<\/p>\n

She loves to be generous\u2014generosity is one of her highest values. But her husband has this deep underlying fear that one day all the money will run out. Security is one of his highest values.<\/p>\n

I helped her see that their issue was never going to be resolved on the surface question of whether or not to pay for dinner for friends. We had to dive much deeper.<\/p>\n

Another client, who managed billions of dollars of assets and was amongst the top 0.1% of income earners was secretly driven by a deep personal shame of being an immigrant. An Ivy League school education, millions of dollars in his bank account and homes in several countries would never be enough to counter his deepest, underlying fear that he wouldn\u2019t ever truly be accepted.<\/p>\n

You can never have enough of what you don\u2019t really need. And money can never solve issues that are not related to money.<\/p>\n

So, how to coach clients who are wealthier than you?\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n

Dig deeper than anyone has ever gone with them. Explore their secret doubts and their deepest fears. Then remind them of their own mortality\u2014because there are only two real truths in this world:<\/p>\n

One, we\u2019re all going to die. And two, we don\u2019t know when it\u2019s going to happen.<\/p>\n

Remind them that they can\u2019t take their money with them when they\u2019re gone and dive deep into the impact they want to make and the legacy they want to leave.<\/p>\n

Don\u2019t be afraid of speaking the truth.\u00a0<\/strong>Wealthy people have few people in their lives who are willing to tell them what they most need to hear<\/p>\n

Care so much that you don\u2019t care. Tell your client that you care so much for them you are with that you are willing to hide nothing and hold nothing back. Tell them you\u2019re not looking for another friend or to be liked or to get hired. Tell them you are here to SERVE them and not to PLEASE them.<\/p>\n

These things aren\u2019t easy to say. And they aren\u2019t easy to hear.<\/p>\n

But if you show up powerfully in this way, your \u2018right\u2019 clients will, too.<\/p>\n

One day, I was in a session with my own coach at the time, Steve Hardison. I\u2019d been sharing my own doubts and dreams, my own deepest fears and deepest desires when Steve looked at me with his piercing eyes.<\/p>\n

He was silent for a moment.<\/p>\n

Then he said these words: I\u2019ve got nothing on you, Rich. I\u2019ve got NOTHING on you.<\/p>\n

And it was one of those INSIGHT moments for me. I got it in an instant.<\/p>\n

This powerful man\u2014this powerful coach\u2014was telling me that he had \u2018nothing\u2019 on me.<\/p>\n

The deepest work we do as coaches is to let go of our own stories, to make visible our own blind spots, to speak loud our secrets, fears and desires.\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n

AND THEN WE HELP OUR CLIENTS DO THE SAME.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Great coaches ARE great leaders.<\/p>\n

Great coaches COACH great leaders.<\/p>\n

\n

This post has been extracted from a private coaches tribe led by <\/em>Rich Litvin<\/em><\/a> at\u00a0<\/em>Evercoach.<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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