{"id":11917,"date":"2018-05-01T19:00:00","date_gmt":"2018-05-02T03:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.mindvalley.com\/?p=11917"},"modified":"2025-07-24T08:05:58","modified_gmt":"2025-07-24T13:05:58","slug":"3-seriously-destructive-coaching-mistakes-you-need-to-avoid","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.mindvalley.com\/coach\/blog\/3-seriously-destructive-coaching-mistakes-you-need-to-avoid\/","title":{"rendered":"3 costly coaching mistakes that sabotage your credibility fast"},"content":{"rendered":"<p data-uw-styling-context=\"true\">Sooner or later all coaches make mistakes, but most of these are easily resolved.<\/p>\n<p data-uw-styling-context=\"true\">You forgot an appointment with your client, and now you have to reschedule.<\/p>\n<p data-uw-styling-context=\"true\">You let your client communicate with you after hours, and now you have to set boundaries.<\/p>\n<p data-uw-styling-context=\"true\">You thought you\u2019d be a health coach, but you realize mindset coaching is your true passion, so now you need to pivot.<\/p>\n<p data-uw-styling-context=\"true\">These are relatively minor issues. Nothing earth-shattering.<\/p>\n<p data-uw-styling-context=\"true\">But there are some errors that can create deep cracks in the foundation of your coaching practice and seriously damage\u00a0<a style=\"outline: none;\" href=\"https:\/\/www.mindvalley.com\/blog\/approaching-ideal-clients-3-factors\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\" data-uw-styling-context=\"true\" aria-label=\"your reputation - opens in new tab\" data-uw-rm-brl=\"false\" data-uw-rm-ext-link=\"na\">your reputation<\/a>.<\/p>\n<p data-uw-styling-context=\"true\">Unfortunately, many of these coaching mistakes appear unimportant.<\/p>\n<p data-uw-styling-context=\"true\">They\u2019re subtle. Under-the-radar.<\/p>\n<p data-uw-styling-context=\"true\">You think they\u2019re no big deal, but they are.<\/p>\n<p data-uw-styling-context=\"true\">Fortunately, these coaching mistakes are easily recognizable and preventable once you know what to look for.<\/p>\n<h2><strong data-uw-styling-context=\"true\">Mistake 1: You befriend your clients<\/strong><\/h2>\n<p data-uw-styling-context=\"true\">Your client is your client.<\/p>\n<p data-uw-styling-context=\"true\">Not your friend.<\/p>\n<p data-uw-styling-context=\"true\">And there\u2019s a massive difference.<\/p>\n<p data-uw-styling-context=\"true\">Friends share personal stories, hopes, fears, and secrets. Friends are familiar and casual.<\/p>\n<p data-uw-styling-context=\"true\">These elements will create major problems in a client-coach relationship.<\/p>\n<p data-uw-styling-context=\"true\">If your client has insight into your personal life\u2014your challenges, your problems, your struggles\u2014they could start to see you as someone who\u2019s plagued by doubt, fear, and uncertainty.<\/p>\n<p data-uw-styling-context=\"true\">No one wants advice from someone they think is unsure or fearful.<\/p>\n<p data-uw-styling-context=\"true\">If you befriend your coaching clients, you run the risk of diluting your authority.<\/p>\n<p data-uw-styling-context=\"true\">So draw the line from the start and stick to it because it\u2019s the only way to give your clients the value and results they\u2019re looking for.<\/p>\n<h2><strong data-uw-styling-context=\"true\">Mistake 2: You coach in black and white<\/strong><\/h2>\n<p data-uw-styling-context=\"true\">There\u2019s the right thing and the wrong thing, and there are no two ways about it, right?<\/p>\n<p data-uw-styling-context=\"true\">Wrong.<\/p>\n<p data-uw-styling-context=\"true\">It may be inviting to label everything as right and wrong, or black and white, based on your personal beliefs and values, but this is a massive mistake.<\/p>\n<p data-uw-styling-context=\"true\">The world is full of color, and we all march to the beat of a different drummer.<\/p>\n<p data-uw-styling-context=\"true\">If you\u2019re unwilling to be flexible with your world view, and if you connect your personal values to your client\u2019s story\u2026<\/p>\n<p data-uw-styling-context=\"true\">You\u2019ll start to judge, label, or otherwise criticize their actions, choices, and decisions.<\/p>\n<p data-uw-styling-context=\"true\">You might think it\u2019s okay to judge as long as you keep your opinions to yourself.<\/p>\n<p data-uw-styling-context=\"true\">But we all have an internal radar that picks up on other people\u2019s judgment of us.<\/p>\n<p data-uw-styling-context=\"true\">Your clients are no different.<\/p>\n<p data-uw-styling-context=\"true\">Your silent criticism will create a subtle but significant level of distrust.<\/p>\n<p data-uw-styling-context=\"true\">And distrust is poison in a coaching relationship.<\/p>\n<p data-uw-styling-context=\"true\">So avoid this at all costs.<\/p>\n<p data-uw-styling-context=\"true\">Make sure you arrive at every coaching session with an open mind and heart. Create a safe, judgment-free space for your clients.<\/p>\n<p data-uw-styling-context=\"true\">You\u2019re there to support. Not to judge.<\/p>\n<p data-uw-styling-context=\"true\">Ever.<\/p>\n<h2><strong data-uw-styling-context=\"true\">Mistake 3: You want to be liked<\/strong><\/h2>\n<p data-uw-styling-context=\"true\">Everyone wants to be liked.<\/p>\n<p data-uw-styling-context=\"true\">It\u2019s built into our survival mechanism as humans.<\/p>\n<p data-uw-styling-context=\"true\">When early man\u2014or woman\u2014was shunned from the tribe, it was pretty much a death sentence.<\/p>\n<p data-uw-styling-context=\"true\">You had no hope of surviving out in the wildness of the ancient world by yourself.<\/p>\n<p data-uw-styling-context=\"true\">This is so deeply ingrained in our psyche that we still believe we must belong to associations, factions, or some kind of group in order to \u201csurvive.\u201d<\/p>\n<p data-uw-styling-context=\"true\">This is where our need to be liked comes from.<\/p>\n<p data-uw-styling-context=\"true\">But if you want to be a great coach, you need to override this natural tendency to be liked and accepted.<\/p>\n<p data-uw-styling-context=\"true\">As a coach, you may need to guide your clients to painful revelations or uncomfortable truths so they can be set free to achieve their highest potential.<\/p>\n<p data-uw-styling-context=\"true\">Coaching is about leading, guiding, supporting, and motivating.<\/p>\n<p data-uw-styling-context=\"true\">Coaching is about being honest and doing everything in your power to help your clients.<\/p>\n<p data-uw-styling-context=\"true\">It is not about being liked or even accepted.<\/p>\n<p data-uw-styling-context=\"true\">So when it comes to being a great coach, strive to make the\u00a0right\u00a0choice for your clients, not the popular one.<\/p>\n<p data-uw-styling-context=\"true\">Strive for respect. Not likeability.<\/p>\n<p data-uw-styling-context=\"true\">These coaching mistakes appear trivial, but they often cause irreparable damage.<\/p>\n<p data-uw-styling-context=\"true\">They create distrust, dishonesty, and inauthenticity between a coach and a client.<\/p>\n<p data-uw-styling-context=\"true\">One of the most powerful ways to keep yourself in check is to always hold onto this truth\u2026<\/p>\n<p data-uw-styling-context=\"true\">Your aim is to\u00a0serve\u00a0your client. Not yourself.<\/p>\n<p data-uw-styling-context=\"true\">Keep this in your mind and heart, and you won\u2019t have any trouble avoiding these serious coaching mistakes.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>3-seriously-destructive-coaching-mistakes-you-need-to-avoid<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":17,"featured_media":29823,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":"","tve_updated_post":"<div class=\"thrv_wrapper thrv_text_element\">\t<p data-uw-styling-context=\"true\">Sooner or later all coaches make mistakes but most of these are easily resolved.<\/p><p data-uw-styling-context=\"true\">You forgot an appointment with your client and now you have to re-schedule.<\/p><p data-uw-styling-context=\"true\">You let your client communicate with you after hours and now you have to set boundaries.<\/p><p data-uw-styling-context=\"true\">You thought you\u2019d be a health coach but you realize mindset coaching is your true passion so now you need to pivot.<\/p><p data-uw-styling-context=\"true\">These are relatively minor issues. Nothing earth shattering.<\/p><p data-uw-styling-context=\"true\">But there are some errors that can create deep cracks in the foundation of your coaching practice and seriously damage&nbsp;<a href=\"https:\/\/www.mindvalley.com\/blog\/approaching-ideal-clients-3-factors\" target=\"_blank\" class=\"tve-froala fr-basic\" style=\"outline: none;\" data-uw-styling-context=\"true\" aria-label=\"your reputation - opens in new tab\" uw-rm-external-link-id=\"https:\/\/www.mindvalley.com\/blog\/ready-to-establish-your-reputation-as-a-world-class-coach-heres-how-$yourreputation\" data-uw-rm-brl=\"false\" data-uw-rm-ext-link=\"na\">your reputation<\/a>.<\/p><p data-uw-styling-context=\"true\">Unfortunately, many of these coaching mistakes appear unimportant.<\/p><p data-uw-styling-context=\"true\">They\u2019re subtle. Under-the-radar.<\/p><p data-uw-styling-context=\"true\">You think they\u2019re no big deal but they are.<\/p><p data-uw-styling-context=\"true\">Fortunately, these coaching mistakes are easily recognizable and preventable once you know what to look for.<\/p><h2 style=\"\" data-css=\"tve-u-1761b675dba\" class=\"\"><strong data-uw-styling-context=\"true\">Mistake #1: You befriend your clients<\/strong><\/h2><\/div><div class=\"thrv_wrapper tve_image_caption\" data-css=\"tve-u-1761b60bced\" style=\"\"><span class=\"tve_image_frame\"><img class=\"tve_image wp-image-12152 tcb-moved-image\" alt=\"You befriend your clients\" data-id=\"12152\" width=\"600\" data-init-width=\"2560\" height=\"400\" data-init-height=\"1707\" title=\"You befriend your clients\" loading=\"lazy\" src=\"https:\/\/www.mindvalley.com\/coach\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/shutterstock_276059795-scaled.jpg\" data-width=\"600\" data-height=\"400\" data-css=\"tve-u-17cbc17302e\" style=\"\" data-uw-rm-ima-original=\"you befriend your clients\"><\/span><\/div><div class=\"thrv_wrapper thrv_text_element\">\t<p data-uw-styling-context=\"true\">Your client is your client.<\/p><p data-uw-styling-context=\"true\">Not your friend.<\/p><p data-uw-styling-context=\"true\">And there\u2019s a massive difference.<\/p><p data-uw-styling-context=\"true\">Friends share personal stories, hopes, fears and secrets. Friends are familiar and casual.<\/p><p data-uw-styling-context=\"true\">These elements will create major problems in a client-coach relationship.<\/p><p data-uw-styling-context=\"true\">If your client has insight into your personal life \u2014 your challenges, your problems, your struggles \u2014 they could start to see you as someone who\u2019s plagued by doubt, fear and uncertainty.<\/p><p data-uw-styling-context=\"true\">No one wants advice from someone they think is unsure or fearful.<\/p><p data-uw-styling-context=\"true\">If you befriend your coaching clients you run the risk of diluting your authority.<\/p><p data-uw-styling-context=\"true\">So draw the line from the start and stick to it because it\u2019s the only way to give your clients the value and results they\u2019re looking for.<\/p><h2 style=\"\" data-css=\"tve-u-1761b67864e\" class=\"\"><strong data-uw-styling-context=\"true\">Mistake #2: You coach in black and white<\/strong><\/h2><\/div><div class=\"thrv_wrapper tve_image_caption\" data-css=\"tve-u-1761b639ae5\" style=\"\"><span class=\"tve_image_frame\"><img class=\"tve_image wp-image-13003 tcb-moved-image\" alt=\"You coach in black and white\" data-id=\"13003\" width=\"600\" data-init-width=\"2560\" height=\"401\" data-init-height=\"1709\" title=\"You coach in black and white\" loading=\"lazy\" src=\"https:\/\/www.mindvalley.com\/coach\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/shutterstock_458240236-1-scaled.jpg\" data-width=\"600\" data-height=\"401\" data-css=\"tve-u-17baa3a9819\" style=\"\" data-uw-rm-ima-original=\"you coach in black and white\"><\/span><\/div><div class=\"thrv_wrapper thrv_text_element\">\t<p data-uw-styling-context=\"true\">There\u2019s the right thing and the wrong thing and there are no two ways about it, right?<\/p><p data-uw-styling-context=\"true\">Wrong.<\/p><p data-uw-styling-context=\"true\">It may be inviting to label everything as right and wrong, or black and white based on your personal beliefs and values but this is a massive mistake.<\/p><p data-uw-styling-context=\"true\">The world is full of color and we all march to the beat of a different drummer.<\/p><p data-uw-styling-context=\"true\">If you\u2019re unwilling to be flexible with your world view, and if you connect your personal values to your client\u2019s story\u2026<\/p><p data-uw-styling-context=\"true\">You\u2019ll start to judge, label or otherwise criticize their actions, choices and decisions.<\/p><p data-uw-styling-context=\"true\">You might think it\u2019s okay to judge as long as you keep your opinions to yourself.<\/p><p data-uw-styling-context=\"true\">But we all have an internal radar that picks up on other people\u2019s judgment of us.<\/p><p data-uw-styling-context=\"true\">Your clients are no different.<\/p><p data-uw-styling-context=\"true\">Your silent criticism will create a subtle but significant level of distrust.<\/p><p data-uw-styling-context=\"true\">And distrust is poison in a coaching relationship.<\/p><p data-uw-styling-context=\"true\">So avoid this at all costs.<\/p><p data-uw-styling-context=\"true\">Make sure you arrive at every coaching session with an open mind and heart. Create a safe judgment-free space for your clients.<\/p><p data-uw-styling-context=\"true\">You\u2019re there to support. Not to judge.<\/p><p data-uw-styling-context=\"true\">Ever.<\/p><h2 style=\"\" data-css=\"tve-u-1761b67a41f\" class=\"\"><strong data-uw-styling-context=\"true\">Mistake #3: You want to be liked<\/strong><\/h2><\/div><div class=\"thrv_wrapper tve_image_caption\" data-css=\"tve-u-1761b64c57d\" style=\"\"><span class=\"tve_image_frame\"><img class=\"tve_image wp-image-12331\" alt=\"You want to be liked\" data-id=\"12331\" width=\"600\" data-init-width=\"1000\" height=\"400\" data-init-height=\"667\" title=\"You want to be liked\" loading=\"lazy\" src=\"https:\/\/www.mindvalley.com\/coach\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/shutterstock_1039227523.jpg\" data-width=\"600\" data-height=\"400\" data-css=\"tve-u-1761b64e165\" style=\"\" data-uw-rm-ima-original=\"you want to be liked\"><\/span><\/div><div class=\"thrv_wrapper thrv_text_element\">\t<p data-uw-styling-context=\"true\">Everyone wants to be liked.<\/p><p data-uw-styling-context=\"true\">It\u2019s built into our survival mechanism as a human.<\/p><p data-uw-styling-context=\"true\">When early man \u2014 or woman \u2014 was shunned from the tribe, it was pretty much a death sentence.<\/p><p data-uw-styling-context=\"true\">You had no hope of surviving out in the wildness of the ancient world by yourself.<\/p><p data-uw-styling-context=\"true\">This is so deeply ingrained in our psyche that we still believe we must belong to associations, factions or some kind of group in order to \u201csurvive\u201d.<\/p><p data-uw-styling-context=\"true\">This is where our need to be liked comes from.<\/p><p data-uw-styling-context=\"true\">But if want to be a great coach, you need to override this natural tendency to be liked and accepted.<\/p><p data-uw-styling-context=\"true\">As a coach, you may need to guide your clients to painful revelations or uncomfortable truths so they can be set free to achieve their highest potential.<\/p><p data-uw-styling-context=\"true\">Coaching is about leading, guiding, supporting and motivating.<\/p><p data-uw-styling-context=\"true\">Coaching is about being honest and doing everything in your power to help your clients.<\/p><p data-uw-styling-context=\"true\">It is not about being liked or even accepted.<\/p><p data-uw-styling-context=\"true\">So when it comes to being a great coach, strive to make the&nbsp;<i data-uw-styling-context=\"true\">right<\/i>&nbsp;choice for your clients, not the popular one.<\/p><p data-uw-styling-context=\"true\">Strive for respect. Not likeablity.<\/p><p data-uw-styling-context=\"true\">These coaching mistakes appear trivial but they often cause irreparable damage.<\/p><p data-uw-styling-context=\"true\">They create distrust, dishonesty and inauthenticity between a coach and a client.<\/p><p data-uw-styling-context=\"true\">One of the most powerful ways to keep yourself in check is to always hold onto this truth\u2026<\/p><p data-uw-styling-context=\"true\">Your aim is to&nbsp;<i data-uw-styling-context=\"true\">serve<\/i>&nbsp;your client. Not yourself.<\/p><p data-uw-styling-context=\"true\">Keep this in your mind and heart and you won\u2019t have any trouble avoiding these serious coaching mistakes.<\/p><\/div><div class=\"thrv_wrapper thrv_contentbox_shortcode thrv-content-box tve-elem-default-pad\" data-css=\"tve-u-178353a2cb6\" style=\"\">\n\t<div class=\"tve-content-box-background\" style=\"\" data-css=\"tve-u-178353a2ca8\"><\/div>\n\t<div class=\"tve-cb\"><div class=\"thrv_wrapper thrv-columns\" style=\"--tcb-col-el-width:790;\" data-css=\"tve-u-178353a2cb2\"><div class=\"tcb-flex-row v-2 tcb-resized tcb--cols--2\" data-css=\"tve-u-178353a2cb3\" style=\"\"><div class=\"tcb-flex-col\" data-css=\"tve-u-178353a2cae\" style=\"\"><div class=\"tcb-col\"><div class=\"thrv_wrapper thrv_text_element\"><h3 class=\"\" data-css=\"tve-u-178353a2cb8\" style=\"\" data-uw-styling-context=\"true\">The Book Of Coaching<\/h3><\/div><div class=\"thrv_wrapper thrv_text_element\"><h5 class=\"\" style=\"\" data-css=\"tve-u-178353a2cb5\" data-uw-styling-context=\"true\" data-uw-rm-heading=\"level\" role=\"heading\" aria-level=\"4\">How To Be An Authentic Coach, Sign Top Clients, And Deliver REAL Results That Change Lives - No Matter If You're A Beginner Or A Veteran<\/h5><\/div><div class=\"tcb-clear\" data-css=\"tve-u-178353a2cb4\"><div class=\"thrv_wrapper thrv-button thrv-button-v2 tcb-local-vars-root\" data-button-size=\"s\" data-css=\"tve-u-178353a2cab\" style=\"\" data-tcb_hover_state_parent=\"\"><div class=\"thrive-colors-palette-config\" style=\"display: none !important\" data-uw-styling-context=\"true\">__CONFIG_colors_palette__{\"active_palette\":0,\"config\":{\"colors\":{\"9bd08\":{\"name\":\"Main Accent\",\"parent\":-1}},\"gradients\":[]},\"palettes\":[{\"name\":\"Default Palette\",\"value\":{\"colors\":{\"9bd08\":{\"val\":\"var(--tcb-skin-color-0)\"}},\"gradients\":[]},\"original\":{\"colors\":{\"9bd08\":{\"val\":\"rgb(19, 114, 211)\",\"hsl\":{\"h\":210,\"s\":0.83,\"l\":0.45}}},\"gradients\":[]}}]}__CONFIG_colors_palette__<\/div>\n\t\n\t<a href=\"https:\/\/www.mindvalley.com\/the-book-of-coaching?utm_source=blog_button&amp;utm_campaign=evergreen_boc\" class=\"tcb-button-link tcb-plain-text\" style=\"\" target=\"_blank\" aria-label=\"GET YOUR DIGITAL COPY NOW - opens in new tab\" uw-rm-external-link-id=\"https:\/\/www.mindvalley.com\/the-book-of-coaching?utm_source=blog_button&amp;utm_campaign=evergreen_boc$getyourdigitalcopynow\" data-uw-rm-brl=\"false\" data-uw-rm-ext-link=\"na\">\n\t\t<span class=\"tcb-button-texts\" style=\"\"><span class=\"tcb-button-text thrv-inline-text\" data-css=\"tve-u-178353a2cad\" style=\"\" data-uw-styling-context=\"true\">GET YOUR DIGITAL COPY NOW<\/span><\/span>\n\t<\/a>\n<\/div><\/div><\/div><\/div><div class=\"tcb-flex-col\" data-css=\"tve-u-178353a2caf\" style=\"\"><div class=\"tcb-col\" data-css=\"tve-u-178353a2cb0\" style=\"\"><div class=\"thrv_wrapper tve_image_caption\" data-css=\"tve-u-178353a2ca9\" style=\"width: 240.75px;\"><span class=\"tve_image_frame\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.mindvalley.com\/the-book-of-coaching?utm_source=blog_image&amp;utm_campaign=evergreen_boc\" target=\"_blank\" title=\"https:\/\/www.mindvalley.com\/the-book-of-coaching?utm_source=blog_image&amp;utm_campaign=evergreen_boc\" aria-label=\"a computer screen with a yellow and blue display - opens in new tab\" uw-rm-external-link-id=\"https:\/\/www.mindvalley.com\/the-book-of-coaching?utm_source=blog_image&amp;utm_campaign=evergreen_boc$acomputerscreenwithayellowandbluedisplay\" data-uw-rm-brl=\"false\" data-uw-rm-ext-link=\"na\"><img class=\"tve_image wp-image-2096\" alt=\"a computer screen with a yellow and blue display\" data-id=\"2096\" width=\"241\" data-init-width=\"800\" height=\"129\" data-init-height=\"428\" title=\"boc-3-(1)-min\" src=\"https:\/\/www.mindvalley.com\/coach\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/07\/boc-3-1-min-1.png\" data-width=\"241\" data-height=\"129\" data-css=\"tve-u-17834f3a52b\" style=\"\" data-link-wrap=\"true\" loading=\"lazy\" data-uw-rm-ima-original=\"a computer screen with a yellow and blue display\"><\/a><\/span><\/div><\/div><\/div><\/div><\/div><\/div>\n<\/div>","tve_custom_css":"@media (min-width: 300px){[data-css=\"tve-u-1761b60bced\"] { width: 75%; 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