{"id":11918,"date":"2018-04-30T19:00:00","date_gmt":"2018-05-01T03:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.mindvalley.com\/?p=11918"},"modified":"2025-09-26T12:36:51","modified_gmt":"2025-09-26T17:36:51","slug":"3-rules-to-break-if-you-want-to-be-an-extraordinary-coach","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.mindvalley.com\/coach\/blog\/3-rules-to-break-if-you-want-to-be-an-extraordinary-coach\/","title":{"rendered":"3 rules every extraordinary coach breaks (and you should, too)"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><span data-uw-styling-context=\"true\">There are good coaches, there are great coaches\u2026<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span data-uw-styling-context=\"true\">And then there are extraordinary coaches.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span data-uw-styling-context=\"true\">An extraordinary coach inspires and influences clients and all those around them to bring their best selves to the table\u2026<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span data-uw-styling-context=\"true\">An extraordinary coach facilitates consistent breakthroughs for clients and opens their hearts and minds to what is truly possible\u2026<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span data-uw-styling-context=\"true\">Then leads them so they can find their way to lasting change and an aligned, purposeful life.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span data-uw-styling-context=\"true\">This is the kind of coach that all other coaches aspire to be.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span data-uw-styling-context=\"true\">In fact, this is the key reason why many coaches choose their profession.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span data-uw-styling-context=\"true\">What could be more fulfilling than knowing you\u2019ve played a part in helping someone achieve their dreams?<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span data-uw-styling-context=\"true\">But being an extraordinary coach is no small feat.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span data-uw-styling-context=\"true\">It requires more than run-of-the-mill <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.mindvalley.com\/ultimate-guide-of-powerful-coaching-techniques?utm_source=blog_hyperlink&amp;utm_campaign=evergreen_pcq\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\" aria-label=\"coaching tools and techniques - opens in new tab\" data-uw-rm-brl=\"false\" data-uw-rm-ext-link=\"na\"><span data-uw-styling-context=\"true\">coaching tools and techniques<\/span><\/a><span data-uw-styling-context=\"true\"> that you can find in a book or receive from a free training.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span data-uw-styling-context=\"true\">An extraordinary coach gets to become one by doing things\u00a0<\/span><span data-uw-styling-context=\"true\">differently<\/span><span data-uw-styling-context=\"true\">.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span data-uw-styling-context=\"true\">Some of the best coaches broke the \u201crules\u201d of coaching and created new paradigms in the industry.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span data-uw-styling-context=\"true\">I\u2019ve had the privilege of working with some of the world\u2019s best coaches, and I\u2019ve had an insider\u2019s view on what sets an extraordinary coach apart from every other coach.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span data-uw-styling-context=\"true\">Here are 3 \u201crules\u201d to break if you want to be an extraordinary coach.<\/span><\/p>\n<h2>Break this rule: Be an optimist<\/h2>\n<p><span data-uw-styling-context=\"true\">There\u2019s a thin line between being optimist and being someone who insists on seeing something that isn\u2019t there\u2026<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span data-uw-styling-context=\"true\">And it\u2019s fundamentally dishonest\u2014and destructive\u2014to see things that aren\u2019t there.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span data-uw-styling-context=\"true\">In coaching, this is sometimes mistaken as \u201cseeing the potential\u201d in someone. While this is a great thing to do, you also need to begin from a place of truth and fact.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span data-uw-styling-context=\"true\">For instance, let\u2019s say your client is looking to become exceptionally good at managing her time within a session or two.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span data-uw-styling-context=\"true\">It may be tempting to try to get her to see her hidden potential in being a time management ninja and then become her \u201ccheerleader\u201d to motivate her into taking necessary actions that will give her control of her time.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span data-uw-styling-context=\"true\">This is the method many coaches fall back on, but it\u2019s not what extraordinary coaches do.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span data-uw-styling-context=\"true\">Extraordinary coaches are realists first and optimists second.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span data-uw-styling-context=\"true\">They are able to see what\u2019s possible, but they\u2019re also grounded in what\u2019s actually happening in the moment.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span data-uw-styling-context=\"true\">Going back to the example\u2026<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span data-uw-styling-context=\"true\">You\u2019ll need to keep the ultimate version of your client\u2019s best self as the time management ninja in your mind and in hers but you need to get down to brass tacks right away.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span data-uw-styling-context=\"true\">Look at\u00a0<\/span><span data-uw-styling-context=\"true\">where<\/span><span data-uw-styling-context=\"true\">\u00a0she is now. Look at\u00a0<\/span><span data-uw-styling-context=\"true\">who<\/span><span data-uw-styling-context=\"true\">\u00a0she is now. Is she the kind of person who can hardly bring herself to\u00a0<\/span><span data-uw-styling-context=\"true\">look<\/span><span data-uw-styling-context=\"true\">\u00a0at her Google Calendar?<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span data-uw-styling-context=\"true\">If so, you need to get real with yourself and with her.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span data-uw-styling-context=\"true\">Find ways to maximize the skills and options that she does have rather than go for the ultimate version of her best self right away.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span data-uw-styling-context=\"true\">This could include acknowledging that she may need to hire an assistant to create a schedule for her instead of trying to do it herself.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span data-uw-styling-context=\"true\">Being a realist will help you come up with clear, practical, and <\/span><span data-uw-styling-context=\"true\">actionable<\/span><span data-uw-styling-context=\"true\">\u00a0steps for your clients.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span data-uw-styling-context=\"true\">It\u2019s the only way to create real results\u2026<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span data-uw-styling-context=\"true\">And for extraordinary coaches, it\u2019s the only thing that matters.<\/span><\/p>\n<h2>Break this rule: Just ask questions<\/h2>\n<p><span data-uw-styling-context=\"true\">Just about every coaching modality centers around the question-and-answer method.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span data-uw-styling-context=\"true\">Traditional coaching methodologies preach that no matter what the client is going through, no matter the challenge and obstacle, the client already has the answers within, and it is the coach\u2019s duty to get this answer out into the open by asking the right questions.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span data-uw-styling-context=\"true\">There\u2019s nothing wrong with this premise except that sometimes, it just doesn\u2019t work.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span data-uw-styling-context=\"true\">There are going to be times in your career as a coach when you will need to rely on other strategies to get to the root of the issue and set your client free from whatever\u2019s troubling her so she can achieve her goals.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span data-uw-styling-context=\"true\">A client who is \u201cstuck\u201d in a detrimental mindset may need a little more than the \u201cquestion and answer\u201d method to get them out.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span data-uw-styling-context=\"true\">Extraordinary coaches don\u2019t stick with questions. They routinely offer suggestions, techniques, and other resources to get their clients out of a rut.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span data-uw-styling-context=\"true\">And their clients are grateful for it.<\/span><\/p>\n<h2><strong data-uw-styling-context=\"true\">Break this rule: Maintain a Safe Distance<\/strong><\/h2>\n<p><span data-uw-styling-context=\"true\">Like doctors, coaches are often advised to mentor and guide the client but to not get \u201cemotionally connected\u201d to them in any way.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span data-uw-styling-context=\"true\">It\u2019s good to maintain a professional distance outside your coaching sessions, but very often, the most powerful and permanent way to help a client is to connect with them on an emotional level during a session.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span data-uw-styling-context=\"true\">A clinical approach or tough talk may work when you need to lead a client out of a meltdown moment or when you feel the client is in full-on self-<a href=\"https:\/\/www.mindvalley.com\/blog\/3-personal-success-mantras-that-are-secretly-sabotaging-your-chances-for-success\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\" data-uw-styling-context=\"true\" aria-label=\"sabotage - opens in new tab\" data-uw-rm-brl=\"false\" data-uw-rm-ext-link=\"na\">sabotage<\/a>\u00a0mode.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span data-uw-styling-context=\"true\">But sometimes, you\u2019ll need to position yourself in your client\u2019s shoes and look at the world through their eyes.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span data-uw-styling-context=\"true\">You\u2019ll need to practice compassion and move beyond a cold coach-client relationship to truly make a difference and get through to them.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span data-uw-styling-context=\"true\">Extraordinary coaches do this when they see the need to help clients overcome seemingly impossible obstacles and rise to become their best selves.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span data-uw-styling-context=\"true\">That\u2019s one of the reasons why they\u2019re extraordinary.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span data-uw-styling-context=\"true\">Even if you\u2019re just starting out as a coach, you have the capacity to be truly extraordinary when you are focused and determined to achieve\u00a0<a style=\"outline: none;\" href=\"https:\/\/www.mindvalley.com\/blog\/ready-to-establish-your-reputation-as-a-world-class-coach-heres-how-\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\" data-uw-styling-context=\"true\" aria-label=\"world-class status - opens in new tab\" data-uw-rm-brl=\"false\" data-uw-rm-ext-link=\"na\">world-class status<\/a>.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span data-uw-styling-context=\"true\">Always remember: rules are there to help and to guide, not to limit and to confine.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span data-uw-styling-context=\"true\">As you gain more experience, you\u2019ll learn to trust your instincts and intuition over hard and fast rules, and this sometimes means breaking a few of them.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span data-uw-styling-context=\"true\">It\u2019s what extraordinary coaches do.<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>3-rules-to-break-if-you-want-to-be-an-extraordinary-coach<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":17,"featured_media":29819,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[114],"tags":[],"area-of-growth":[],"featured":[],"outcome":[],"series":[],"class_list":["post-11918","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-becoming-a-coach"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO Premium plugin v27.4 (Yoast SEO v27.4) - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-premium-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>3 Rules to Break if You Want to be an Extraordinary Coach<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"An extraordinary coach defies outdated norms to inspire lasting transformation. Discover which three rules to break to grow your impact and influence.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.mindvalley.com\/coach\/blog\/3-rules-to-break-if-you-want-to-be-an-extraordinary-coach\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"3 rules every extraordinary coach breaks (and you should, too)\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"An extraordinary coach defies outdated norms to inspire lasting transformation. Discover which three rules to break to grow your impact and influence.\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.mindvalley.com\/coach\/blog\/3-rules-to-break-if-you-want-to-be-an-extraordinary-coach\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Mindvalley Coach\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:publisher\" content=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/officialEvercoach\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2018-05-01T03:00:00+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2025-09-26T17:36:51+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/www.mindvalley.com\/coach\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/04\/extraordinary-coach-mindvalley-coach-blog-03-aura-seo-team.webp\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"1456\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:height\" content=\"816\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:type\" content=\"image\/webp\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Ajit Nawalkha\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"Ajit Nawalkha\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"5 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\\\/\\\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.mindvalley.com\\\/coach\\\/blog\\\/3-rules-to-break-if-you-want-to-be-an-extraordinary-coach\\\/#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.mindvalley.com\\\/coach\\\/blog\\\/3-rules-to-break-if-you-want-to-be-an-extraordinary-coach\\\/\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"Ajit Nawalkha\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.mindvalley.com\\\/coach\\\/blog\\\/#\\\/schema\\\/person\\\/6ae3ab1b731430bc75158a473d816575\"},\"headline\":\"3 rules every extraordinary coach breaks (and you should, too)\",\"datePublished\":\"2018-05-01T03:00:00+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2025-09-26T17:36:51+00:00\",\"mainEntityOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.mindvalley.com\\\/coach\\\/blog\\\/3-rules-to-break-if-you-want-to-be-an-extraordinary-coach\\\/\"},\"wordCount\":1007,\"publisher\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.mindvalley.com\\\/coach\\\/blog\\\/#organization\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.mindvalley.com\\\/coach\\\/blog\\\/3-rules-to-break-if-you-want-to-be-an-extraordinary-coach\\\/#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.mindvalley.com\\\/coach\\\/blog\\\/wp-content\\\/uploads\\\/2018\\\/04\\\/extraordinary-coach-mindvalley-coach-blog-03-aura-seo-team.webp\",\"articleSection\":[\"Becoming a Coach\"],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\"},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.mindvalley.com\\\/coach\\\/blog\\\/3-rules-to-break-if-you-want-to-be-an-extraordinary-coach\\\/\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.mindvalley.com\\\/coach\\\/blog\\\/3-rules-to-break-if-you-want-to-be-an-extraordinary-coach\\\/\",\"name\":\"3 Rules to Break if You Want to be an Extraordinary Coach\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.mindvalley.com\\\/coach\\\/blog\\\/#website\"},\"primaryImageOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.mindvalley.com\\\/coach\\\/blog\\\/3-rules-to-break-if-you-want-to-be-an-extraordinary-coach\\\/#primaryimage\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.mindvalley.com\\\/coach\\\/blog\\\/3-rules-to-break-if-you-want-to-be-an-extraordinary-coach\\\/#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.mindvalley.com\\\/coach\\\/blog\\\/wp-content\\\/uploads\\\/2018\\\/04\\\/extraordinary-coach-mindvalley-coach-blog-03-aura-seo-team.webp\",\"datePublished\":\"2018-05-01T03:00:00+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2025-09-26T17:36:51+00:00\",\"description\":\"An extraordinary coach defies outdated norms to inspire lasting transformation. 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