Beliefs were different. It took me a great deal longer to see them. As it turned out, my beliefs were the underlying wheels of the clockwork machinery that happened to be the creation of my life. And so the question that came with my beliefs was always, \u2018why do you experience what you experience?<\/em>\u2019<\/p>\n Beliefs would give me context as to the reasons for my current living reality and how I\u2019ve created it. Why I had not been able to help my parents consolidate their fights. Why every time I argued with my mother I was doing more damage than actually helping. Why none of my romantic relationships had been working until my mid-20s.<\/p>\n I mention the questions because I want to remind you that you, too, are not here to find the answers. You\u2019re here to find a better question to live into\u2026<\/p>\n Q1:\u00a0What do you want to do with your life? = Values<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n Q2:\u00a0Why do you experience what you experience? = Beliefs<\/em><\/strong><\/strong><\/p>\n In this article, I want to help you understand your values and beliefs right. I want to help define your values and see your beliefs as clear as your hand in front of you.<\/p>\n Because once you do\u2026\u00a0oh my, the results will be unbelievable.<\/em><\/p>\n Let\u2019s do values first. It\u2019s important to get values right because when you do, you\u2019ll never again wonder what \u2018job\u2019 to go for in your life. You\u2019ll never wonder again \u2018what type of client\u2019 you want to help most. Decision-making will become so easy that it may just take a second.<\/p>\n I say this because the moment I got my values right, I fell in love with them. So much so that I got myself a wristband designed for it. I started living them.<\/p>\n Our core values are our guiding light\u2014they help us make decisions, take action, and create a life of meaning and purpose. They provide the clarity and direction in our lives. The more you understand and honor your personal values, the easier it is to follow the path towards your dream life and career.<\/p>\n One day I asked myself, what if I lived these values fully?<\/em>\u00a0What would my life look like?<\/em><\/p>\n My answer turned into one year of traveling to 10+ countries, falling in love every single month, and doubling my work performance while cutting my working hours in half. I created my first online program, I met my future wife, and all these things I once thought would take me 30 years to achieve.<\/p>\n So, are you ready to find your values and flip your life around like me?<\/p>\n The first step in defining your values is easy. For now, I\u2019ll use the freely available material on the internet, like Bren\u00e9 Brown\u2019s values list<\/a>.<\/p>\n If you did this right until here, your top five list should look like this:<\/p>\n Congratulations, you’ve identified your core personal values. Now, let’s take it a step further.<\/p>\n Once you have your five core values, it\u2019s time you make them uniquely yours. Remember, your values will function as your decision-making compass.<\/p>\n Take your top five values and make them doable<\/em><\/strong>.<\/p>\n What I mean by that is make them an action, rather than a noun.<\/p>\n For example,<\/p>\n When you make them actionable, you\u2019ll know exactly what to do when you see and think of them.<\/p>\n The last step is to define what they mean for you. Only when you know what your values mean can you fully live into them.<\/p>\n Following the example from Step 2, here\u2019s how it could read:<\/p>\n Congratulations, you\u2019ve defined your core values. You can also use this simple three-step exercise with your coaching clients if they\u2019re in need of it too.<\/p>\n The last and arguably most important part is to live with your values.<\/p>\n The second part of understanding your values and beliefs is uncovering just that\u2026 your beliefs.<\/p>\n Beliefs are the underlying thought patterns that make sure you stay the way you are. They\u2019re the reason why you do the things you always do and repeat the same mistakes over and over and over again.<\/p>\n Beliefs are also the ultimate tool for change.<\/em><\/p>\n Frankly, I\u2019m still working on beliefs, but after trying out a few tools with my clients, I can say with confidence that this particular one is very effective. It comes directly out of the toolbox of Ajit Nawalkha\u2019s Start Your Coaching Business Quest<\/em><\/a> on Evercoach. With this exercise, you\u2019ll uncover your own and your client\u2019s beliefs in less than 10 minutes.<\/p>\n Here\u2019s how it goes. Finish the following sentences.<\/p>\n Here\u2019s an example:<\/p>\n \u201c<\/em>Love is\u2026<\/em><\/strong>not bound to anyone or anything. Love is infinite. It can be felt\/spread\/experienced regardless of relationship or status. It does not depend on its acknowledgement or agreement & returns back whenever it is sent out.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n As you fill these in, it\u2019ll become very clear to you what your beliefs are. Not only that, but I bet you\u2019ll feel very strongly about them. Because you\u2019ve had a lot of thinking about them for so long, I would argue that you\u2019d swear that these beliefs that you hold are not just beliefs, but that they are absolutely true.<\/p>\n Once you\u2019re aware of the beliefs you hold, you can\u00a0challenge them and change them<\/a>. Since your beliefs about life are just as made up as everything else (why else would we all have different beliefs?<\/em>).<\/p>\n Say them out loud and see whether you feel good or bad about the belief when you hear it. The ones you feel bad about are the ones you will want to question and exchange for better ones. Swap them out, and try out the new ones. Regardless of how fake it could feel at first, breaking those thought patterns and using new ones is what will help you make the biggest changes in your life.<\/p>\n By now, you should have a pretty good idea of the key differences between values and beliefs, but let’s make it extra clear.<\/p>\n Values are our guiding principles; they define our behavior and character and bring clarity on what are the most important things in our lives that are non-negotiable.<\/p>\n Beliefs represent our convictions about things, whether we have proof of them or not. They are the reason we do the things we do, even when we don’t understand why we do them over and over again.<\/p>\n By being aware of our values and beliefs, it’s easier for us not only to make better decisions aligned to them but also to change negative beliefs that no longer serve us and adopt new positive beliefs instead.<\/p>\n To help your clients implement these in their lives, your job as their coach will be to remind them of their newfound values and beliefs.<\/p>\n When they forget their values or don\u2019t remember why something isn\u2019t working, point them back to the very exercise that you did with them, as I did with you here. Show them why it feels bad. Remind them of what they value and really care about.<\/p>\n As a coach, your main job is to remind your clients of their brilliance and\u00a0unlimited potential<\/a>. Don\u2019t buy into their limiting stories. Once you uncover their beliefs, you\u2019ll know where they come from.<\/p>\nWhat are values?<\/h2>\n
How to define your core values<\/h2>\n
Step 1<\/h3>\n
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Step 2<\/h3>\n
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Step 3<\/h3>\n
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What are beliefs?<\/h2>\n
Discovering your beliefs<\/h2>\n
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Difference between values and beliefs<\/h2>\n
How to coach based on values and beliefs<\/h2>\n
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