"I would love to share this knowledge and newly acquired ability with people"

Hi everybody, I just joined the Superbrain Quest, and I´m really excited. It had just landed on me a few days back how much I forget things, and how much loss I´ve experienced in life because of that. There are things I´ve wanted to do, but just because I don´t trust that I will be able to remember anything I hold myself. I, pretty much everyday, have to get back inside to pick something up I was forgetting, and sometimes I still leave something behind. I often plan on how I´m going to say something but when the time comes I´m completely lost. I write memos here and there and, if I get to remember I did, I often forget where I put them, or when I find them I cannot connect them to whatever made me write them in the first place. I´m also so very easily distracted, whether it is something outside of me, or it is my mind that goes everywhere all the time; I´m often holding conversations with people I should have had, but that never happened, thinking what I should or shouldn´t have said, as well as often repeat the same mistakes. In theory, I´m loving and respectful of myself, but when you forget so many things, it just doesn´t make any sense. Now, after seeing some of the first introductory videos by Jim, I´ve come to see that not being able to focus; always aware of what people might think of me, for instance, is the reason why I can´t pay attention for long enough, then I forget everything (well, didn´t remember it in the first place, right?) which also makes me ashamed an makes me think I´m a total loser, which contradicts what I said about me loving and respecting myself, which makes me be very incongruential most of the time. I´ve lived in 5 different countries; didn´t finish high school and was very unhappy, so running away was the solution I could find when the opportunity knocked on my door. I think I´ve gained a pretty deep view of my country´s culture; things not everybody sees, and few are talking about, that I´d like to start writing about. But, every single time is the same. I totally lose the rhythm and the track of my ideas, so I end up deleting things over and over again, never letting anything build to anything. I´ll spare details of my life living in other countries, but I can assure you not even remembering who you are can be disastrous. I want to build a new me. I want to start collecting things that won´t get thrown in the garbage box, only to appear when they´re already out of date or place. Want to gain a rich vocabulary in English, and not have to go back to the same characters every time I study Japanese, just cause I forgot what I studied last time. I´ve been learning to play the piano for 5 years and, despite how passionate I can get, I feel I´ve just come to my very limit, which is kind of sad. I´m truly desperate. Can´t think of a better me if I don´t change this, which I believe is probably the part of me that is hurting the most. I´m also sure I´ll be able to put many things of my life, starting from my childhood, in the right order, and only then I will have a crystal clear knowledge of who I am, where I´m going, and make the rest of my life an enjoyable experience, totally worth living. I can say, I´m not doing too bad, but it requires unnecessary, energy sucking efforts, and that is no fun. I thank God that even in this far away place I live in now I´m able to come in contact with such marvelous people, and specially my super hero Jim Kwik. Oh, and yes, I would love to share this knowledge and newly acquired ability with people, when I´m up to it. All the best, and lets all make the world a better, way much more fun place to live!